Anger
Harnessing Its Power
Introduction
Anger is like electricity. Unleashed, its power, like lightning, destroys whatever lies in its path. Successfully harnessed, anger, like electricity, provides power and light. Thank you for joining me in this issue of The Adventure of Reflection, as I contemplate anger and the importance of harnessing its power
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A Minute of Motivation
Turning Liabilities into Assets
When I was in the fourth grade, I was spanked for talking during class – now I get paid to talk in class! When my desire to talk in class was expressed in the wrong circumstance it became a liability – I was so embarrassed and angry about this spanking! Today, my enjoyment of talking during class is freely expressed during my college classes. What was once a liability is now an asset!
Perhaps you also have personality characteristics which have gotten you into trouble in the past. Consider how you might use those traits to your advantage, rather than to your disadvantage. For example, have you stubbornly refused to change your mind, even when you were wrong? Use that strong-willed part of your personality to adamantly stand up for what is right or to defend those who cannot defend themselves. Use that aspect of your personality to work for you, rather than against you.
There really are no liabilities or assets in your personality. How you express yourself, either constructively or destructively, determines whether the qualities you possess will improve or diminish the quality of your life and the lives of those around you.
Take a look at what kind of person you are and what you enjoy doing, then direct your potentials into life-enhancing pursuits. Remember that what may seem to be a liability, can, if redirected, become an asset.
Note. Written in 1993 and preserved on dot-matrix printer paper. Published here because of the energizing power of anger, a personal characteristic some people have in greater quantities than others.
Enjoy Life More
Always Angry, Rarely “Green”
The superhero known as the Incredible Hulk, has a problem. Banner, his non-hulk name, turns into a raging, destructive, out-of-control green monster when angry. This liability haunts him over several films where the release of the Hulk causes problematic mayhem. In a surprising twist, he returns to the superhero team, visibly quite calm and at peace with himself. He has found a way to control the beast within. The revelation of his secret can be found in the clip below. Captain America suggests this might be a good time to get angry, as huge aliens are destroying the city. Banner calmly replies, “that’s my secret, Captain. I’m always angry.” Then he turns into the Hulk and successfully joins the fight against the aliens.
During the academic year 2017-2018 I was the Chair of the Faculty Senate at Missouri State University. This role was a magnet to everyone with a problem— faculty, staff, and administrators. I had an endless stream of co-workers telling me what was wrong and needed to be addressed. I carried a black book into which I recorded these wrongs. And I found my anger growing.
It was that year I learned the secret of the Hulk – to “always be angry but rarely green.” The awareness of problems was energizing; the trick was not to become debilitated by the pain or undisciplined in fighting the wrongs. I learned about healthy anger which says, “This is wrong!” and then asks, “What can I do about it?” The purpose of anger is to generate a response, typically a fighting response. Anger is energizing, like electricity, and can cause great destruction if unharnessed, like lightning. Anger, like electricity, when harnessed, can provide power for good.
It’s OK to be angry. Actually, it is good to be angry. When something is hurting you or someone you care about the healthy response is anger. Anger provides energy for correcting problems. Unleashed, anger causes more problems. Harnessed, anger powers the solutions.
Faith Corner
“God, a righteous judge, displays His wrath.” (See Psalms 7:11)
I have been studying the Old Testament (OT), a part of the Bible that is hard to process. There is a lot of destruction and difficulty in the early centuries of God’s people, the days before the arrival of Jesus, described in the New Testament (NT). The New Testament, with its messages of redemption and love, are easier to process.
There is a lot of God’s wrath recorded in the books of the Bible written before the time of Jesus. A quick search of one translation found 181 uses of the word “wrath” almost all in the OT and almost all referring to God’s wrath. “Anger” is used 268 times and “angry” 113 times. Most people find it uncomfortable to be around someone who is angry and being around God when He’s angry, that’s even worse.
God is a righteous judge, one who displays His wrath as He judges human behavior. Because He is holy (aka perfect and pure) any behavior that is not holy, perfect, or pure, evokes His anger. Unfortunately, all human behavior falls short of God’s standard of perfection and purity. Thus, God, as a righteous judge, is angry with humans.
Yikes! If the story ends there, we are all in big trouble. A God big enough to create everything would have a very big wrath. That very big, very wrathful God, also has a love beyond comprehension for his unholy humans, so much so that He put all of His wrath on His own son. Jesus, God’s only son, came into human form and God the Father put all of His wrath on Jesus. Rather than directing His wrath onto humans, God the Father directed His wrath on Jesus. That’s a lot of wrath. That’s a lot of love for humans.
Rather than unleashing His wrath onto humans to destroy them all (like lightning), God the Father chose to harness His wrath and send it only onto Jesus. Through that act of restraint, the power of the cross was offered to all humans. The wrath was converted into love, a love that powers those who receive it through Jesus.
Dear Lord, I have trouble wrapping my little mind around what You did with your wrath, how You channeled it away from me and onto your own Son. This incomprehensible act of Your love for me is hard to process. Help the truth of Your wrath and the truth of Your love sink into my being, powering a grateful response of love to You and those around me. Thank You. It hardly seems enough, but thank You. Amen.
Poetry Pause
I’m Angry
I am angry.
What is wrong
Is causing pain.
I am angry.
In my hurt
I want to hurt something,
Or someone.
I am electrified.
Am I lightning?
No, lightning causes
More destruction.
A power plant.
That’s better.
I am a power plant.
From me comes energy
For solutions.
By Cindy MacGregor, May 4, 2023
Note. As I write this, it’s Star Wars Day, aka, “May the 4th be with you.” This poem, my May 4th reflection on anger, invites the power of anger to energize solutions to problems all around.
Old Mom to Young Mom
Harnessing the Intensity
As infants develop into toddlers, then preschoolers, and into the early childhood years, the full array of human emotions unfold. Attentive parents will notice the emergence of emotions first as changes in the way a baby cries, noting, “Oh, she’s angry” or “That sounds like she’s scared.” And, as the emotions appear, so does the full disposition and personality of each child.
All human beings have a full complement of emotions, but how these emotions are expressed is part of what makes each person unique. There are also differences in the intensity of emotional experience and expression. Some people are very laid-back and not easily angered. Others are more sensitive and easily irritated or hurt. Part of effective parenting is recognizing the emotional tendencies of each child and helping with how those emotions are expressed. The goal shouldn’t be to teach children to be Spock-like and emotionless; the goal should be to have emotions but not let the emotions take control.
This is especially challenging for children whose emotional experiences are more intense than others. All children need to learn how to harness their emotions, but this is especially true for the electrified child. These children need extra help not getting overly tired and preventing intense hunger; emotional regulation is more difficult for the tired and/or hungry child. It can be impossible for the hungry or tired “electrified” child to get his/her intense emotions under control. The more effective parenting for this type of child is to teach regulation of rest and eating as a high priority. The intense child, who will become the intense adult, needs strong habits of regular rest and good nutrition. Exhaustion and junk food will energize the beast within.
As an old mom to young parents, I encourage you to consider the emotional intensity of your children and the special focus you might need to invest for them to become well-regulated adults. The electrified, intense child, can become a powerful “force to be reckoned with” as an adult – ideally a force for good both for themselves and for others. Harnessing their intensity is essential to how their force will be experienced in the world.
Dear Dr. Mac
Dear Readers:
You can find all my previous posts at https://cindymacgregor.substack.com/archive
If you would like to share your reactions to this post, you can do so in two ways. You can leave a comment (see below) or email me at: drcjmacgregor@outlook.com; I will respond via email, and with your permission, include our dialogue in a future newsletter. I enjoy hearing from you!
[signed] Dr. Mac