Betrayal
Not Just a Judas Problem
Each of us knows the pain of betrayal, but the most famous betrayal is that of Judas. Being called “a Judas” is synonymous with being called a traitor or one who betrays loyalties. In this reflection, I examine betrayal and expose its prevalence; betrayal is not just a Judas problem.
My Mysterious Mind
What does it mean to be betrayed or to betray someone or something? Betrayal is a violation of loyalty. We are betrayed when someone makes us a lower priority than our loyalty warrants. Or, conversely, our betrayal is when we behave in a manner inconsistent with our loyalties, violating a loyalty we have or one that is expected from us.
Many people associate the name “Judas” with betrayal; even those who are not followers of Jesus know the story of how Judas sold his loyalty to Jesus for thirty silver coins. This is a peculiar story. Judas, who had been a loyal follower of Jesus for many months, if not a year or longer, chose to accept a cash bribe for helping with the arrest of Jesus. I have been troubled by this betrayal, and have struggled to resolve how Judas might have betrayed Jesus, whom he followed as a student follows a rabbi. Judas, like the other apostles, gave up home and occupation to wander the countryside, living like a nomad. With such apparent loyalty, how could Judas accept money for helping his teacher be arrested?
I recently read an excerpt from a book by Dyson Freeman who wrote about loyalties, specifically, loyalties to ourselves, our families, our tribes, our cultures, our species, and our planet. Being loyal on all six levels is essential to survival, however, there inevitably are times when these loyalties are in conflict, or so he asserts. Every human being, he wrote, “is the product of adaptation to the demands of all six.” He further wrote: “If our psychological impulses are complicated, it is because they were shaped by complicated and conflicting demands.”
This is heavy stuff, but it got me thinking about betrayal. When someone acts in a manner inconsistent with their loyalties, or the loyalties expected of them, that act is viewed as betrayal. In this way of thinking, betrayal is a matter of actions that result from conflicting loyalties, choosing to be loyal to something when that action betrays one’s loyalty to something or someone else.
For Judas, who was loyal to Jesus, he was also the keeper of the money bag for the traveling band of disciples. He was, in essence, the treasurer for their group. For that job, he had to be loyal to the money-keeping. The problem arrived when his loyalty to money rose above his loyalty to his teacher, Jesus. Being loyal to Jesus was expected to be his top loyalty, with his loyalty to the money being lower. When he made his loyalty to money higher than his loyalty to Jesus, that action was an act of betrayal to his top loyalty.
Given this view of betrayal, that of misaligned loyalties, it seems likely that betrayal is a common experience for all of us. When someone expected better of us, or we expected better of someone else, that is more than disappointment. It might be better viewed as betrayed expectations of loyalty. A spouse might say to an unfaithful partner, “I thought you loved me.” Adultery, a form of betrayal, happens when a partner chooses something for themselves that violates their marriage loyalty. In this unfaithfulness, the loyalty to oneself arose higher than the loyalty to one’s partner.
Betrayal also happens in workplaces. Otherwise-loyal employees might steal from the business, thereby placing their desire for money above their loyalty to their employers. Similarly, a loyal employee will feel betrayed when their employer chooses a higher loyalty to money, eliminating their position. In my current job, some questioned my loyalty because I was also working for an academic program that provided degrees for another university. After my time as Faculty Senate Chair, I hoped my loyalty to my current employer was clear. I worked faithfully for my home university and demonstrated, so I thought, how much that university was important to me. I felt betrayed when I was treated poorly by my home university after the closure of the partnership with the other university. I had been loyal, but that loyalty was not met with an expected level of value by some leaders.
Loyalties lie deep in our sense of value. Our behavior is motivated by our loyalties, and, when those loyalties conflict, our choices might create an experience of betrayal. Betrayal is, at its core, a problem with unfaithfulness. A “conflict of interest” is a situation of competing loyalties, creating a concern for unfaithfulness, or betrayal, to one or the other. Brand loyalty can be destroyed if the company violates a value to which we are more loyal. Loyal fans stick with their team through thick and thin, but, even they might betray that loyalty if their team or its owners do something that conflicts, i.e., betrays, other fan loyalties.
Loyalty is often included in eulogies, such as loyal wife or husband, loyal mother or father, and loyal daughter or son. The topic of betrayal invokes serious reflection on our loyalties. To what, or whom, are we most loyal? And, when our loyalties conflict, which loyalty will betray the others? This is more than a Judas problem.
Message of Mystery Acres
When we purchased this undeveloped piece of nature, my husband and I made an unspoken pledge to develop it without turning it into something disloyal to it. Thus, when trying to kill unwanted grass and weeds from reclaiming the gravel driveway, I wanted us to use natural products. I have been spraying it with a mixture of vinegar and salt, which seems to be working but will need to be repeated regularly for full effectiveness. It may be somewhat disloyal to kill what wants to grow where we want a driveway, but we want to remain loyal to the investment we made having that driveway cleared and graveled.
Native people once cherished the land we now claim as ours. Their loyalty, now in the past, is still connected to “our” land. I want to be loyal to them and not turn the forest into something disrespectful to its past. To do so would feel like a betrayal to me, even though I never met any of the people who left this land nearly two hundred years ago. The depressions in the ground in front of one of the marker trees might be the graves of tribal leaders. I have been asked, “Are you going to dig them up?” No. I am most definitely not. Yes, I have a loyalty to my own curiosity, but I have a greater loyalty to preserve the dignity of those who lived and died on this land. If I honor my curiosity more than their dignity, I would be betraying them and their people.
I want Mystery Acres to be a place of peace and not of betrayal. I want those who visit to experience nature in a way that is not damaged by my adulterous actions to develop it. This is tricky sometimes, as my husband and I want to have some modern infrastructure. As we seek to develop what we want, there are sometimes conflicts between us and between our own loyalties. We strive to honor our loyalty to each other and to the land by not betraying either.
Ancient Mystery’s Voice
“You can’t be loyal to two masters.” (see Matthew 6:24)
When it comes to loyalties, each person can only have one top loyalty at a time. In the words of Jesus captured by Matthew, one of His first followers, this top loyalty is called a “lord” or a “master.” According to Jesus, each person can only have one master to whom they provide loyal service.
Certainly, we can be loyal to many people or priorities simultaneously, but only one of these can be our highest priority, only one can receive our best time and energy of service. Jesus described how a person can’t serve God and money as their masters. Only one of these loyalties can be the “master loyalty.” To see what matters most to someone, we need only to “follow their money.” I would argue, you could also see a person’s “master” by following where they invest most of their time or attention. One’s top loyalty, or master, will be given the best of resources. If I try to serve two masters, I will betray one of them.
Betrayal is deeply painful. Judas, after betraying Jesus, went to the religious leaders who had paid him for helping them arrest Jesus. He cried out, “I sinned, betraying innocent blood.” The religious leaders coldly replied, “That’s your problem, not ours.” In an attempt to right the wrong of his betrayal, Judas threw the silver coins on the temple floor. After unsuccessfully trying to fix his act of betrayal, his confession of sin rejected by the religious leaders, and being unable to access Jesus to ask for forgiveness, Judas committed suicide.
There can be only one top loyalty. If loyalty is misplaced, all other loyalties are betrayed. This is what happened to Judas. His loyalty to money rose above his loyalty to Jesus. We call this betrayal. Similarly, the apostle Peter, who is famous for denying his affiliation with Jesus three times in one night, betrayed Jesus by putting his own safety above his loyalty to Jesus. If I, in a conversation with others, deny my relationship with Jesus, wanting to protect myself from ridicule, am also betraying my loyalty to Him. In all these instances of betrayal, the loyalty to Jesus is supplanted from the number one position by greed or self-preservation.
Not all of the damage caused by betrayal can be resolved, but, thankfully, all acts of betrayal can be forgiven. Most religious scholars are adamant that Judas was not forgiven and that his betrayal left him eternally condemned. I have never been so sure about that. Rather than debate the issue here, I will leave the matter of Judas’s forgiveness in the hands of the One he loved but also betrayed. Judas allowed the temptation of his loyalty to money to rise above his loyalty to Jesus. I suspect most followers of Jesus have betrayed Him at one time in some way and have been forgiven. I can accept Judas may have been forgiven for his betrayal because Jesus has forgiven mine.
The words of Ancient Mystery, recorded in the books of the Bible, provide clarity for the top loyalty position. The first commandment, recorded by Moses thousands of years ago, is to not have any loyalties above the one, True God. The words, “Have no other gods before Me” are a strong directive to put loyalty to God above all other loyalties. Pursuit of wealth, fame, or popularity, would betray loyalty to Him if those efforts are greater than devotion to God. These pursuits will become betrayal if any rise to the top position. And, as Jesus said, no person can serve two masters.
Living in Mystery
How to live in the mystery of loyalty, rather than the ugliness of betrayal, requires aligning time, energy, and resources, in ways not driven by conflicting loyalties. Some, like Dyson Freeman, see betrayal as an unavoidable part of human existence. Perhaps he’s right. But I assert that the best way to minimize betrayal, is to get our loyalties in order, and align ourselves consistently with those loyalties. The most important position in this order is the top loyalty. To whom or what are we most loyal? All other loyalties are then set at a lower priority and our time, energy, and efforts align accordingly.
If I claim to be loyal to my spouse but give my better time and energy to someone else, I am living a life of betrayal, not loyalty. If you claim your children are important but demonstrate that loyalty by being mesmerized more by smartphones, your actions betray your loyalty as parents. If we espouse to be loyal to our parents but never call or visit, and then only begrudgingly do so, our hearts betray our assertions.
At the end of our lives, we probably want to be known for our loyalties, not our betrayals. In the eulogy one day written about each of us, after completing the fill-in-the-blank test of life, what will follow the word “loyal _____?” To whom, or what, do you want to be known for your loyalty? Being loyal is not just a Judas problem.
Connecting with Mystery
Dear Lord of All Mystery, my heart is a messy tangle of conflicting loyalties. Sometimes I put the wrong thing as my highest priority, and everything else is betrayed and damaged. Help me see my top loyalty clearly and live consistently with that loyalty, shifting all other loyalties to a lower position. Betrayal is painful; where I have been betrayed, help me to forgive. Where I have betrayed someone, help me to seek forgiveness and restoration. Thank You for loving me and never betraying that love. Amen.
Notes from Dr. Mac
If you want to do your own investigation of any of the scriptures I use, I suggest you go to Bible Gateway. This free online version of the Bible allows a search of words or phrases in various translations.
You can find previous posts and podcasts in my ARCHIVE and organized compilations in the My “Books” section.
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