Courage
The Power of Words
Welcome to the first full edition of “The Adventures of Reflection,” a journey into thinking and feeling more deeply so as to live more abundantly. In this, and future editions, the content will include several sections; I hope this will offer words for different readers on their various life journeys. Here’s a synopsis of the sections, which will have different content each week.
Introduction – I will first offer a preamble to the theme for the newsletter.
A Minute of Motivation – these are updated excerpts from my 1992 publication “Minute Motivators” (no longer in print). I wrote these while teaching psychology classes and I read them to my students at the beginning of classes.
Enjoy Life More – here I will introduce new writing, fresh from my psyche, as I challenge myself to live with greater enjoyment.
Faith Corner – the Bible is a cornerstone of support for my life. In this section, I will reflect on a passage of scripture and apply it, concluding with a brief prayer.
Poetry Pause – Sometimes I will include a poem I have written. Here, with less words, you will find some of the deepest adventures into my own times of reflection.
Old Mom to Young Mom – being a mom has been the most important and most challenging part of my life. In this section I, now an “old” mom, offer advice and encouragement to younger moms.
Dear Dr. Mac – after I receive questions from readers, I will offer those questions and my responses in this section. The email to write to me is: drcjmacgregor@outlook.com .
Introduction to Today’s Newsletter
Today’s edition is about the power of words. A newsletter is, after all, just words. “Just” words? Words can create or destroy. Words can summon help, or offer it. Words can provide guidance, or bring confusion. Words cost nothing but can be priceless. Words take only a moment to utter but can last a lifetime, or longer. May you find words in this newsletter that bring you courage or comfort.
A Minute of Motivation
Compliments
Compliments can be priceless to the person who receives, yet they cost the giver nothing.
Do you remember any compliments you have received? A few simple words from someone can be tucked away in your mind, and they can encourage you every time you remember them. Yet this wonderful gift costed the giver nothing.
We each have an infinite supply of these priceless treasures to give away. Look for the good in others, and tell them what you find. Be sincere. Avoid manipulative flattery. Give compliments just to make others feel better, not because you want a compliment in return.
Give someone a compliment or word of appreciation today. The world will be a little better when you do.
Enjoy Life More
“Enjoy life more.” As I sought to find meaning from the loss of my mom, followed quickly by an accident for myself and my husband, the answer was a simple three-word directive.
“Enjoy life more.”
In the more than three years since that message, I have forgotten its call more often than I have remembered. It’s 2022 now, my mom died nearly four years ago. The accident two and a half months later is a memory overshadowed by the darkness of COVID. June 1, 2018 she died. August 2018, my husband and I, when traveling home from a fireworks convention with our camper in tow, caught a crosswind. Suddenly we were upside down in the median, the shattered debris of our camper strewn across the highway and all around us. We were physically fine, walking away without noticeable injury.
The fog of grief and the post-accident trauma combined to make life heavy and hard. I searched for a pinpoint of meaning; what was God wanting me to learn?
The answer was simple, but I couldn’t internalize it. A directive to enjoy life more ran counter to my internal push to accomplish things. Each day starts at zero for me and only ends with value if there are items crossed off my “to do” list. Enjoying life sounded like wasteful recreation.
And yet, months and months later, the directive still calls to me. I’m searching for how to fulfill the directive. These paragraphs capture my search. I hope to find what I need. Perhaps you will find something, too.
Practice Remembering
Shuffling to work on a dreary day, I wonder how to find the path to joy in the grayness around me. How do I choose joy on a day when the light is impossible to see? To be honest, there are days when the sunlight is not obscured yet there is a gray fog around my spirit.
Human memory is an incredible gift of creation. In our minds we can return to previous places of joy and immerse ourselves in the memory of that time. One path to joy is into our memories. No matter how pervasive the fog around us, the path into joy-filled memories is unobstructed. We only need to choose it.
If I close my eyes, shutting out the grayness around me, I can flip through the archived times of joy. I can see the smiling faces of the people I love. I can hear the wind in the trees on a magical day in the woods. I can smell the aroma of a feast prepared for a family to gather. I can feel the wonder of holding a child in my arms. I can taste the exploding flavor of a food enjoyed on a vacation. I recall words of encouragement or love. The archives are seemingly endless.
Today I choose to enjoy my life more by practicing the gift of remembering. I encourage you to practice remembering, too.
Faith Corner
“Take courage! I AM!” [Jesus] Matthew 14:27
Jesus said these words as He was walking on the water. His disciples, safely in a boat, saw what they believed was a ghost, and were terrified. Seeing someone walking on the water towards them was completely unknown to them; their human response was great fear.
We, too, often respond with fear when life is totally unfamiliar. What is happening?! When illness, job change, financial demands, or relationship difficulties appear on the horizon, the enveloping darkness can make it impossible to discern what is going on or how to respond.
But, in the unknown, walking in our direction, is the Lord of the wind and the waves. He speaks words of encouragement, comfort, and strength. “Take courage!” He also reminds us of the reality of His existence and His presence: “I AM!” Sometimes this part of the scripture is translated as “It is I” – but the original Greek used here is the name of God: “I AM”
Lord, thank you for coming to me in the storms and the dark times of my life. Help me to have courage when I can’t make sense of what is happening. Help me to know the reality of Your existence and not to be afraid. Strengthen me with Your presence. In Jesus’ name. Amen.
Poetry Pause
“Surrender”
My forest –
Oh, how I’ve missed you!
The Breath pushes through your limbs
And you sing in surrendered harmony.
A symphony
Of crescendo
And decrescendo
Without discord.
Oaks, hickories, and cedars
Singing together.
A harmony to quiet
The restless soul.
At times completely still;
And then a distant murmur
Grows closer
And louder
As the chorus sweeps overhead --
Singing with surrendered beauty;
No matter the Strength
Or Absence
Of the Breath.
So natural for you;
Such struggle for me.
I’m here for another lesson;
Teach me.
Old Mom to Young Mom
Advice for moms because “mom-ing” is hard
When I was growing up I dreamed only of one thing: being a mom. For the single-longest chapter of my adult life, I was actively juggling being mom to my three children while being employed full-time. Then, one by one, they launched into adulthood. I am still a mom, but the role has changed to include grandma and “mom of moms.” This phase includes less juggling and more advice-giving, but only when solicited. I believe every mom has to find her own way. What worked for me and my children (a bit different for each one!) may not work for another mom and each of her children. And, less I overlook the tough job of dads, my advice may not work for dads, either.
But, here it is anyway. This section of my newsletter will be advice for younger moms (and dads if you think what I say is relevant as I cannot be a good judge of that). I am going to offer some advice in this section but I am also going to respond to requests for advice if I receive questions from any of you. You can send an email to: drcjmacgregor@outlook.com and I will respond either via email or in this section of a future newsletter, or both. But, for this first edition of “Old Mom to Young Mom” I offer this advice: write in a journal.
Why keep a journal? Words on paper are a pathway to understanding. Mostly they are a pathway to understanding oneself. What am I feeling? What am I thinking? Where am I going? What do I want? What is happening to me? Writing about the confusing and overwhelming seasons of life helps. When I write I feel less alone just from connecting to myself through writing. All my life I have used writing to tether myself through onslaughts of intense emotions or tangled thoughts. It’s an almost magical remedy for me. Or, maybe it’s a form of breathing. It nourishes and settles me. Sometimes I write poems, but mostly just my thoughts and experiences.
To be honest, most of my journal entries from my “active mom years” start the same way: “I am so tired today.” Many of your journal entries might, too. It’s OK; “mom-ing” is hard. There were many days I thought there wasn’t enough of me, but there always was, sometimes just barely. And here’s the crazy part: no matter how exhausting it was to be in the “active mom” stage, I miss it. It seemed, at times, like a car ride that would never end, but, then, one day, it did. Those years were difficult and tiring…and finite.
There was enough of me to get through those years, and there is enough of you, too. Grab a notebook and write about what is going on with you as a mom. You may fall asleep as you write. It’s OK. Connect with yourself and sort out what you are experiencing. It helped me be a better mom because it helped me be a more “whole” person. I hope it helps, you, too.
Dear Dr. Mac
In this section I will respond to questions from readers. Please email me at drcjmacgregor@outlook.com .