Fog
When Your Path is Obscured
Introduction
Fog is both a mystical weather phenomenon and a metaphor for a way of feeling. I have known the fog of grief and the fog of the unknown. In this issue of The Adventure of Reflection I ponder fog, how to enjoy it and how to find the way through it
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A Minute of Motivation
The Fog of Fear
Sometimes life can seem pretty overwhelming, with many unknowns, pending tragedies at every turn, and many reasons to worry.
But worry is a wasted activity. It consumes valuable mental energy and precious human time. If all the time and energy spent worrying was redirected in the development and implementation of solutions, we could dramatically improve the world.
When you’re scared of a possible future event, face your fear instead of spinning your mental wheels over it. Ask yourself, “What am I really afraid of?” Then think about what you would do if your fear came true. Plan how you would cope. You don’t want your fear to come to fruition but you can survive if it does!
After facing your fear and developing a plan of how you could cope if your fear was realized, focus instead on moving towards what you want. Make mental plans and take action to achieve the results you desire. If you waste your time and energy in useless worrying, you will be less likely to achieve the outcomes you really want.
Use worry as a cue that it’s time to face your fear. Develop your coping strategy. Then redirect your thoughts and actions towards the achievement of your dreams.
Note. Originally written prior to 1993 and preserved on dot-matrix printer paper. Published for the first time here.
Enjoy Life More
Enjoy the Fog
I remember the first time I flew in an airplane, descending through clouds prior to landing. I was glued to the window, captivated by the magic of it. During the rare days of fog, the clouds of heaven hover near the ground.
A friend called recently and told me about the beautiful fog she had driven through on her way to work. She was overjoyed by the wonder and mystery of it, an enchanting transformation of the ordinary world. As the sun began to rise, the fog started to glow. It was mesmerizing and breath-taking.
Fog can transform the dull world into something other-worldly. One morning, when camping, a fantastic fog was resting along the ground of the forest. The dew on the spider webs was glistening like tiny diamonds strewn between the twigs. I walked slowly, taking in the wonder of it all, knowing a photo could never capture the awe-inspiring glory.
I confess to enjoying fog. Sure, it slows me down if I have to drive somewhere, but I marvel at the splendor of an ugly world softened by an ethereal blanket. Fog invites me to move more slowly, or just to be still and marvel at the softening of my busy world.
Some days are covered in a metaphorical fog. The way ahead is obscured. But the ugliness is also muted. To enjoy life more, relax in the blanket produced by life’s fog and go slowly. The “fog” might be grief or fear of the unknown, but the way will be clear, just enough, for the next step.
Faith Corner
“He spread out a cloud [i.e., fog] as a covering.” (Psalm 105:39)
The word “fog” doesn’t appear in most translations of the Bible, but the words “cloud” or “clouds” appear many times. Often these references are describing a cloud on the ground or hovering over a tent or mountain. This sounds like fog to me.
When God’s people left their slavery in Egypt, referred to as the Exodus, they were led by a “cloud by day” and a “pillar of fire” at night. When God wanted to signal His presence within their camp, He would come down as a cloud hovering near their Tent of Meeting. These clouds on the ground, i.e., “fog,” were signs of God’s guidance and His presence.
In modern times, when fog descends around us, it can remind us of God. As He spreads out a cloud as a covering over us, He encourages us to rest in His presence. He is offering to be our source of guidance through the fog and fear of the unknown.
Dear Lord, I confess to running off on my own will, not trusting You to guide me. Thank You for fog, real and metaphorical. Fog reminds me to slow down, to move wisely, and to trust You to guide me. Help me to relax in the times when I can’t see the way ahead. Thank You for showing me where to step and keeping me on the path. Amen.
Poetry Pause
F. O. G.
Finding my way
Only depending upon
God –
Finding Only God.
Following the path
Only the next step
God shows me –
Following Only God.
By Cindy MacGregor, January 19, 2023
Note. I can’t see the new year clearly, or the years beyond. In that fog of the unknown I can remember to “Find Only God” and “Follow Only God” -- He knows the way!
Old Mom to Young Mom
Don’t Make Fear-Based Decisions
Every child grows up with “tapes” of things their parents often said to them. These parental mantras are meant to guide children through the twists and turns of life. One of my common advice phrases was “Don’t make fear-based decisions, make decisions based on what you want.”
I try to make decisions based on what I want, rather than driven by what I fear. If people have an “operating system” like computers, my OS doesn’t run on fear. I am uncomfortable being afraid and don’t find it at all useful. Fear of something generates a movement AWAY from something. I would much rather focus on moving TOWARD something.
And I tried to teach my children to do the same. Each of us is living a “fill-in-the-blank test” each day. Instead of being afraid of putting down the “wrong” answer, how about we focus on putting down a good one? When each day is over, what do we want to have filled in that space? As each day accumulates in the sum of our weeks, months, and years, what does the total reveal about who we are?
Our brains are wired to take direction from us. Telling ourselves or our kids “don’t screw up” doesn’t provide a directive to fulfill. The brain, given a fear-based directive, is focused on making mistakes, rather than focused on being careful, going slowly, concentrating, etc.
My advice, as an old mom to young parents, is to help build forward momentum thinking in yourself and your children. Yes, fear is natural, but not particularly helpful except in cases of real danger such as walking along cliffs, encountering dangerous animals, and engaging in risky behavior. Asking questions like “What do you want?” or “Where are you going with this?” help direct behavior to productive outcomes. Don’t make fear-based decisions; make decisions based on the outcomes you want, not the ones you are trying to avoid.
This also applies to the way you parent. Don’t be a fear-based parent, worried about how your kids are going to “turn out.” Focus instead on parenting your children into becoming well-adjusted, kind, and self-controlled adults. And that includes teaching them to make goal-based decisions, not fear-based ones.
Dear Dr. Mac
Hey Dr. Mac,
I really enjoyed your last message on humility. I’ve been in a season this past year where I’ve had to rely more on humility and less on my talent. Whether it’s running audio at my church (which is not my expertise), moving through the tenure track, or doing complex real estate transactions, I’ve had to really stand in an uncomfortable gap while those around me are angry and confused. I am finding myself in scenarios where I have no control, with some situations filled with so much ambiguity. Although I don’t have all the answers, my calm presence is what they require. Without my humility, the needle can’t move forward.
Respectfully,
L.H.
Dear L.H.,
I deeply appreciate you taking the time to write to me and share your experiences with humility. I suspect that "calm presence" of which you write is evidence of the Holy Spirit at work in and through you. The "surrender" of humility is allowing you to offer more than yourself to those around you. It is a joy to read how you are allowing this greater work to flow through your humble efforts!
Thanks, again, for your encouraging words!
Signed, Dr. Mac
Dear Cindy,
Loved your post...especially hearing you read it! I could picture you (or maybe it was your mom ☺) sitting behind the microphone, carefully enunciating each word and phrase. I especially loved the poem in this edition. It was beautifully written!
Sounds like your professional life has been turned upside down. But you have a wonderful God-perspective on the situation.
Thanks for your newsletter. I enjoy it immensely! All the best to you, Cindy!
Signed, Sarah ❤
Hi Sarah,
What a joy it is to hear from you! Sending my writing out into cyberspace is usually a one-way conversation. It is a great encouragement to me to learn how much you are enjoying it! Thank you for taking the time to write.
It warms my heart to hear you mention my mom. Honestly, she would never get anywhere near a microphone! But her love and wisdom certainly travels through me; and her voice echoes in my own.
My professional world has been mostly obliterated; the doctoral program in which I was teaching, advising, and providing coordination is all-but-gone. I cannot be fired (tenure) but I have to learn a new job for the same employer -- a tough adaptation for an "old dog." I am learning to embrace the "professional downsizing" of this season, which frees me for more energy for my family, my church, and to build my dream of "being a writer."
Thanks, again, for writing!!! And for reading --- I can’t be a writer without readers!
In His Service,
Cindy
To My Readers:
If you would like to hear what I think about something or share your thoughts, please send an email to: drcjmacgregor@outlook.com; I will respond via email or in this section of a future newsletter, or both. I hope to hear from you!
You can find all my previous posts at https://cindymacgregor.substack.com/archive
Thanks for listening!