Shrinking parents, shrinking kids, and even a shrunken submarine have entertained movie-watchers in recent years. As things in my life have recently been at risk of “falling off of my plate” I have begun to wonder if my plate being smaller might be the explanation. Help! Who shrunk my plate?!
My Mysterious Mind
We’ve all heard the expression about having too much on your plate. With my recent frustrations of recurring illness, I’ve been reflecting on the possibility of having “too much on my plate.” This seems improbable to me because I have fewer responsibilities than the years of active parenting where I earned a doctorate while juggling full-time work and a busy schedule of children’s activities. I currently have one job, one volunteer role, and one hobby (Substack) in addition to the usual home and life maintenance tasks. But my husband does most of the cooking, housecleaning, and grocery shopping. How can I possibly have TOO much on my plate?
It occurred to me that the problem might not be the number of things “on my plate” but the size of my plate. Did someone shrink my plate? Could that explain why my plate doesn’t seem to hold the demands of my life lately?
In the textbook I used for teaching Lifespan Development, I remember reading about how people might have to cut down on life’s demands as a byproduct of aging. That couldn’t possibly be happening to me, could it?
Then there’s this weird experience of the months getting shorter. I used to run out of money before the end of the month. These days I run out of month before I accomplish what I had intended. The start of a new month arrives, and I have this surreal awareness of how impossible it seems for the previous month to be gone already.
Oh, and the seasons are zipping by, too. We took down the hummingbird feeders a few weeks ago. It felt as though we only had them up for maybe a month. What happened to summer? How did it get to be November already?
I don’t think I’m actually crazy, however, time seems to be disappearing. This, combined with an overflowing “plate,” which has fewer things on it than in years past, has me considering the reality of a shrinking plate as the real problem. The days are shorter, as are the weeks, months, seasons, and years. Can this problem be fixed? Or must I face the reality of these mysterious changes?
Message of Mystery Acres
The summer is technically over, despite some of the record highs in recent weeks. The average low temperature is getting lower; soon freeze warnings will be a part of the forecast. It seems like only a few weeks ago it was too hot to comfortably enjoy the forest. That is quickly shifting into a future problem of the forest being too cold…at least too cold for the water stored in the motorhome and rainwater catchment system. Both will soon need to be winterized.
How do these changes happen so fast? As a child, summer seemed delightfully long, long enough to become bored and ready to go back to school. The fall and winter holidays of Halloween, Thanksgiving, and Christmas seemed very far apart. Now it seems like the time to put up and put away the Christmas decorations comes around more quickly than before.
The perception of time passing more slowly for children and more quickly for older adults is well-known. Theories explaining the phenomenon vary, including changes in neural processing rate, decreases in new experiences, and perceptive shifts. While retrospective perceptions might be changing with age, with older adults feeling as though time has passed more quickly, the perception of the current point in time might not change. In fact, the “length” of the current moment might be the same or longer for an older person who has learned to live with greater awareness of each moment.
With age comes the perspective of how finite life truly is, how fleeting the days, months, and years can be. This shift in awareness brings the reality of declining balances of remaining time. The chorus of a famous song from Fiddler on the Roof has started playing in the back of my mind. The lyrics of “Sunrise, sunset, sunrise, sunset, swiftly fly the years,” stirs our hearts to the haunting reality of shrinking calendars.
The message of Mystery Acres calls softly and persistently for a deeper awareness of time and its transient flow through our lives. How many years do I have left to live? How many months are left in the calendar of your life? Summer seemed longer as a child, but it eventually ended, as it seems to more quickly with age. As the calendar shrinks for each of us, what do we want to include in each day? If the accelerating rate of time threatens to push some things off our shrinking plates, what do we fight to preserve?
Ancient Mystery’s Voice
“Seek the kingdom of heaven first.” (See Matthew 6:33)
If my plate is really shrinking, what do I keep on it? Or what do I put on it first, then adding other things where there is room?
This makes me think of buffet or cafeteria meals. These “all you can eat” offerings allow the diner to grab more than one plate for each meal. But what if each person was allocated a single plate? How much would fit on that plate, and, more importantly, how would the diner prioritize from among the myriad of options? FYI, I limit myself to only one plate at these meals. Not surprisingly, the amount of salad I choose is severely reduced. But I digress…
To further complicate the “one plate” rule as a metaphor for life, what if some diners were given smaller plates? More aptly, what if the younger people received larger plates than the older ones?
Regardless of the size of one’s metaphorical plate of life, the one plate rule still brings restrictions. And restrictions prompt careful prioritizing. What is important enough to claim space on the plate, especially if the plate is getting smaller over time?
Jesus offered guidance as to what to put on the plate first. He said to “seek first the kingdom of heaven.” In food buffets, if he said, “head first to the salad section” that would be really clear. But life isn’t really a buffet. So, what does Jesus mean by directing us to take our plates first to the kingdom of heaven section?
Kingdoms have kings, those who are in charge of the people in the kingdom. There are those kingdoms we can see and those kingdoms we cannot see. The kingdom of heaven is one we cannot see; Jesus is the king of the kingdom of heaven. This spiritual kingdom, ruled by Jesus, is where love and perfection are the kingdom values. Some kingdoms, especially earthly ones, might be ruled by kings who value their own wealth and power. The kingdom of heaven, Jesus’ kingdom, isn’t like that. He wants the people in His kingdom to know perfect peace, joy, and love.
Seeking the kingdom of heaven means to follow the authority of Jesus as king. Seeking that FIRST is to make this our highest priority. As we approach each day with an empty plate, limited in size, Jesus says, “Head first to Me and what I have for you.” It’s as though He’s saying, “don’t run around filling your day with a bunch of random stuff, ask Me to help you make your choices today.”
Ancient Mystery’s voice beckons us to the “kingdom of heaven” section first thing with an empty plate for the day. By seeking the kingdom of heaven first, everything else we need for the day will be added to that plate. Jesus made this promise: “Seek first the kingdom of heaven and all the things you need will be provided.” By heading to the “kingdom of heaven” section first, there will be enough room on our plates for everything else we’ll need for the day. This applies no matter the size of the plate.
Living in Mystery
What does it mean to live in the mystery of having a limited, shrinking plate? First it means acknowledging the limitations of one’s life. Each of us has a finite number of days left and each of those days has a finite number of hours. When the recognition of this limitation is combined with a shrinking amount of energy for those days ahead, awareness of the precious value of each day is accentuated.
Budgeting what to include on the plate of your life is a bit like preparing for how to budget your money. This examination includes knowing how much time and energy you have available to spend, but also where and how to spend it. There are two broad categories of allocations, namely relationships and tasks. Within each of those categories are subcategories. Relationships include spiritual, family, and friends. Tasks include work responsibilities, home duties, and volunteer assignments. Plus, there’s the too-often neglected responsibilities to self, which include relationship with self AND tasks of self-care. From the total available time and energy, all seven of these areas should be included in a comprehensive “budget.”
But how much do you allocate to each of these seven areas? If life were simple, you could dedicate one day a week to each. But life isn’t that simple. The category of work responsibilities might require part of multiple days every week. Caring for children or elderly family members is likely a part of every day. It’s a little like a balanced diet; you can’t eat protein on Mondays, vegetables on Tuesday, fruits on Wednesday, etc. I saw a plate at a promotional booth for nutrition, it had four areas on the plate, different in size, showing what and how much to eat for each meal. If only planning a balanced day were that simple! A balanced day probably needs some time and energy for all seven areas. But where to even begin?
As an old mom to young parents, I invite you to examine the allocations of time and energy in your life and the consequences for you or your children. Being a good parent requires large amounts of time and energy for the tasks of parenting and the development of a quality relationship with each child. The “minimum daily requirement” for effective parenting is quite possibly 25% of the awake hours of each day, or roughly four hours. If eight hours are allocated to a full-time job, that leaves only four hours a day for driving, self-care, home duties, and other relationships, like your spouse, parents, and friends. Oh, but there are weekends! Ah, yeah, about that. For many parents the weekends are a scramble of children’s activities and tending to neglected home duties. Can a half a day on Sunday be allocated for church and one’s spiritual well-being? Sadly, for too many families, church isn’t in the “budget.” I don’t say all of this to lay guilt; I say it to acknowledge how real the struggle is for many parents today. I encourage you to take a hard look at your plate and what you are trying to fit on it.
Living in the mystery of limited and shrinking plates means starting with the kingdom of heaven section of the daily buffet. Before rushing to the other six categories, start with the spiritual area of your life. Some people think daily quiet time is a duty, but it’s really about relationship. A relationship with Jesus, the king of the kingdom of heaven, will provide guidance for what and how to allocate the hours of the day. Seeking His direction first helps each day to have enough room for the people and tasks within it. How much time should be allocated to seeking the kingdom of heaven each day? I don’t have a specific amount to recommend, but a minimum of 15 minutes is a place to start. I function better on more like an hour a day of quiet time, praying, reading daily devotions, and pondering a section of the Bible. I feel more productive on days when my allocation of “kingdom time” is greater, even though, logically, I have less time to allocate to other areas.
My plate is shrinking. Yours might be shrinking, too. Living in this mystery compels each of us to take serious inventory of what we include on each day’s “plate.” Like an overwhelming array of buffet choices, deciding what to do next can be confusing. Heading to the “kingdom of heaven” section first will alleviate the confusion and get the day’s allotment of tasks and people in better proportions.
Connecting with Mystery
Dear Lord of All Mystery, I confess to spending too much of my time and energy in frantic or pointless pursuits. Help me to arrange each day to have a healthy allocation of time with You. Thank You for guiding me throughout this crazy buffet of life choices, showing me what to include on my daily plate, and what to pass by. Amen.
Notes from Dr. Mac
If you want to do your own investigation of any of the scriptures I use, I suggest you go to Bible Gateway. This free online version of the Bible allows a search of words or phrases in various translations.
You can find previous posts of my work at my ARCHIVE and organized compilations in the My Books section. You can also find Mystery’s Voice on Spotify.
I want to know what you’re thinking! You can email me at: Dear Dr. Mac or leave/send a message (see below). I love hearing from you!
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