Jumbled
Past, Present, and Future Collide
Introduction
I have been feeling jumbled lately. There are some important parts of my world ending, while other, more unknown parts, are beginning. In this place of collision between today, yesterday, and tomorrow, I am pondering how to focus. Thank you for joining me in this issue of The Adventure of Reflection as I explore the jumble of past, present, and future colliding.
A Minute of Motivation
Choose Wisely
Every day you are faced with numerous life decisions to make and often big decisions as well. The consequences of most decisions may seem insignificant – but are they?
Each choice you make today changes the choices you are able to make tomorrow, some in big ways and some in small ways. For example, a choice to go to work or class today makes it easier to choose to go to work or class the next day, because you are in the habit of being where you are supposed to be. A choice to skip work or class today can help to develop a habit of missing responsibilities. Get in the habit of being irresponsible and you may find yourself choosing between losing a job or shaping up, or, in the case of a class you’ve been skipping, a choice between getting a poor grade or dropping the class, only to take it over later.
A little choice made successfully today will help to develop the kinds of habits that generate a rewarding life. Little choices made carelessly today can jeopardize your future by developing bad habits and limiting future choices. At each point in your life there are paths from which to choose – which path you choose will affect what future paths are available to you.
Wisdom is necessary in making the choices before you today, both big and small. Ask for the wisdom, search for that wisdom, and you will have the wisdom you need to make the choices which will improve you and your future. Choose your path wisely by making small choices wisely.
Note. Written in 1993 and preserved on dot-matrix printer paper. Published here because of the jumble of possible decisions we each face every day.
Enjoy Life More
Focus on Today’s Page
May is a time of endings, some years more than others. As students complete a course of studies or a season of their formal education, the journey ends with a “commencement” ceremony or graduation. These ceremonies are packed with emotions, memories, and dreams. The ending of a season of life collides with the beginning that awaits, making a jumble of thoughts and feelings in a single day. The ceremony marks the end of one chapter; the next day starts the new chapter.
During a recent commencement ceremony, the speaker quoted a song entitled “Unwritten.” As I was radio-channel-scanning on the drive home I landed on a station just as the song, previously unknown to me, began to play. A key line is: “Today is where your book begins, the rest is unwritten.” Commencements, and this song, remind us to pause and consider the chapters behind us and the yet-to-be-written chapter ahead. All of this pondering creates quite a jumble in today.
There are many times when a specific day marks the end of one season and the beginning of the next. Weddings, funerals, and retirements come to mind, as do moving days and changing jobs. Whenever one season ends there is, simultaneously, the beginning of a new season. This shift of yesterday and tomorrow into today can be overwhelming.
But only one thing is needed: focusing on the pen in your hand with which you write today. And, if you don’t know what to write, just hold the pen and wait quietly for the wisdom to find you. Life is written one day at a time, and some days are the blank pages between chapters. Let the jumble settle, and then move into the next chapter.
Faith Corner
Jesus said, “Only one thing is needed.” (see Luke 10:42)
The spring semester is wrapping up for me and I am not teaching summer school. A perpetual achiever, I have lists of lists of things I want to accomplish in the space until the fall semester begins. These lists are organized into categories and written into a special notebook just for the summer. Planning and getting organized are easy for me.
But, in the mental jumble of my plans, I hear a voice reminding me to focus on the “one thing” needed. This is hard for me because sitting and listening for instructions seems like a waste of time when I could be getting things done. Nonetheless, I have developed the self-discipline to start my day with quiet time and prayer, focusing on a few Bible verses. This settles the jumble in my heart and mind and lays a solid foundation on which to build the day’s accomplishments.
Dear Lord, thank You for reminding me of the essential foundation on which to build a successful day. That foundation is You - talking with You and listening to You through prayer and scripture. Help me to trust You to settle the jumble of my self-imposed expectations and to accomplish what is most important by starting with the one thing needed – You. Amen.
Poetry Pause
The Jumble
Too many feelings,
A jumble of crumpled thoughts-
Yesterday’s imaginings,
Today’s frustrations,
Tomorrow’s ambiguity.
Stacks of cognitive junk mail.
What to keep?
What to ponder?
What to discard?
Yesterday’s drafts,
Today’s scribbles,
Tomorrow’s blank page.
I shift my focus
To my cup
Of Coffee.
Finite.
By Cindy MacGregor, May 17, 2023
Note. I wrote this as a “horrible poem” in response to a prompt in my Creative Thinking Journal, a Christmas gift from my son. I rather like it.
Old Mom to Young Mom
Choices Have Consequences
Parents cannot control the behavior of a child, only the consequences of a child’s behavior. Some parents get into power struggles with their children, trying to force compliance. This is frustrating and pointless. Behavior cannot be forced, only guided by consequences.
The wise parent provides clarity regarding which behaviors will yield which consequences. “If you do that, then this will happen. If you do this, then that will happen. What do you choose?” As the child matures, the internal dialogue becomes the guide, e.g., “If I do that, then this will happen. If I do this, then that will happen. What do I choose?”
Some parents govern their children through a litany of “should” directives. “You should do this. You shouldn’t do that.” The result is a child that feels “should-y” most of the time. A should-dominated parenting style generates guilt, rather than forward-momentum towards healthy behavior. Behavior evokes consequences; which consequences do you want?
Directives based on “should” and “should not” also elicit opposition by the rebellious two-year-old inside each of us. “I should brush my teeth, but I don’t want to. Do I want healthy teeth and gums? Well, then brushing my teeth will help with that.” For a small child a long-term focus may not work but a “Do you want me to read a book to you at bedtime or go to bed without me reading a book to you? If you want me to read a book, then you need to brush your teeth.” The wise parent chooses the consequence that motivates the desired behavior from the child, thus building a healthy habit.
The choices are in the control of the children. Always. The consequences are the only thing the parents can control. As an old mom to young parents, I encourage you to focus on what you can control, not expect to control what you cannot. Focus on controlling the consequences that guide healthy and kind behavior. Providing clarity of choices for your child will help them focus on making better choices and building good habits.
Dear Dr. Mac
Dear Readers:
I have had a lot on my mind and heart lately. After 23 years in the College of Education I have chosen to switch back to Psychology, which is in the College of Health and Human Services. My first college teaching was in the Psychology Department at then-SMSU. During that season of my life, I brought all three of my children into my world, then left SMSU for Drury and into a doctoral program. This decision to go back to psychology has brought a collision of past, present, and future, a collision I have yet to fully process, thus the jumble from which today’s post was inspired.
As one of my summer projects I am adding audio recordings to my earlier posts, from May 2022 through August 2022. And, as a suggestion from my friend Jan, I will be creating a Table of Contents for “Year One” of The Adventure of Reflection. Lastly, if time and energy permit, I will be launching a brand-new project this summer, Inward Peace, Outward Victory. Oh, and there are other things on my list, too, as getting too bored is not a good place for me to be. My subscribers will be updated on my progress.
You can find all my previous posts at https://cindymacgregor.substack.com/archive which can be reorganized by different tabs at the top.
You have two ways to share your thoughts with me. You can leave a comment (see box below) or you can email me at: drcjmacgregor@outlook.com; I will respond to your email and post our dialogue in a future newsletter (with your permission, of course). I love to hear from you!