Lonely Hands
Reclaim Connection
Introduction
This week’s issue of The Adventure of Reflection is not about a metaphor. I have been pondering our hands, especially our lonely hands, and the need for us to reclaim connection with each other through our hands. Thank you for joining me!
A Minute of Motivation
Love Your Neighbor as Yourself
Loving your neighbor as yourself is a golden rule of life. But what does it mean?
Love your neighbor – care about the needs of others. Try to help whomever you can, however you can. Your neighbor is not everyone every day, but rather the people YOU come in contact with on each day of your journey through life.
Love your neighbor as yourself – take care of others in a loving way, as you need also to be taking care of yourself. Take care of your mind, soul, and body. Love the person you are through self-care. Take time to play, but don’t play all the time. Love yourself – you are a unique and priceless creation.
Loving your neighbor as yourself requires love for yourself and loving others in the same way. Take care of yourself and help take care of others, too.
Note. Originally published in 1992. Re-published here because of the mutual benefit of grabbing a lonely hand and holding it in yours. Love your neighbor as yourself by holding hands.
Enjoy Life More
Hold Hands
Our western culture has never been big on holding hands, except between lovers or parent and child. It’s culturally appropriate to shake hands upon initially meeting someone but then normal to never touch again. The loneliness of our hands was significantly worsened by the pandemic where hand-touching was forbidden.
A few years ago, pre-COVID, my world was expanded by a dear colleague from Kenya. For him, greeting someone includes a hand-holding exchange. More than a handshake upon first meeting, this exchange was more of a hand embrace. And it was offered every time he greeted me.
I admit my initial reaction was that he was invading my personal space. Privately I decided this exchange could happen half of the time, a compromise of cultures. I could be uncomfortable half of the time, allowing this hand embracing, provided he was uncomfortable half of the time with not having it.
Then, in 2020, all hand contact ceased. Invisible, impermeable walls descended between all of us. My hands grew lonely, and that loneliness crept more deeply into my being with each passing day of separation. As restrictions lifted, the opportunity to touch each other’s hands was allowed. But, in many settings, the originally limited hand-contact remains even more rare than pre-pandemic.
It doesn’t have to be this way. Our hands, with their intensely sensitive nerve endings, are designed for contact with each other. Holding someone’s hand connects and re-energizes both of us. A hand embrace says, “You are not alone. I am not alone.” We need to give these messages to others and simultaneously to ourselves.
To enjoy life more, hold hands. And, as a special note to my Kenyan friend, we can greet each other your way every time. It is better than the lonely, Western way.
Faith Corner
“You have taken hold of my right hand.” (see Psalm 73:23)
The word “hands” is mentioned almost 600 times in the Bible, with “hand” mentioned an additional 1400 times. That’s two thousand references to hands! Physiologically, of all the non-erogenous parts of the human body, the fingertips and palms are the most sensitive to touch. In terms of complex movement, no other part of the body can perform like the hand. From playing piano to typing on a keyboard, hands are incredible.
And when two people hold hands, the mystery and miracle multiples. Suddenly each becomes stronger. Rescuers say to someone in peril, “Give me your hand!” Children on a field trip away from their secure classroom are instructed to “hold hands with a buddy.” Prayers are intensified by people in a circle joining hands.
Even more amazing is when the Lord takes hold of the hand of one of His children. This metaphysical reality doesn’t just activate the nerve endings of the human hand. The reality of God connects with me and I am anchored and not alone. As the Psalmist wrote of the Lord, “You have taken hold of my right hand.” When reaching for a hand to hold, he found, and so can we, the hand of the Almighty to hold.
Sometimes God sends a person, with their hands, to hold onto us. And sometimes He sends us, with our hands, to hold onto someone.
Dear Lord, thank You for the miraculous and mysterious creation of our hands. Thank You for giving me people to hold my hands, and for sending people in my world who need me to hold their hands. Help me to live in confidence of You holding onto me as I walk through all of the dangerous parts of this world. Thank You for holding onto my right hand. Amen.
Poetry Pause
Lonely Hands
Hands are meant for holding.
Mama holds her children’s hands.
Lovers hold each other’s hands.
Strangers greet by shaking hands.
Children’s hands grow up.
Death separates lovers.
Strangers become acquaintances.
And hands become empty and lonely.
Is your hand lonely?
Find a lonely hand to hold.
A child in your world.
Someone left behind by a lover.
A friend you are happy to see.
Hands are meant for holding;
Find a lonely hand
For your lonely hand
To hold.
By Cindy MacGregor, July 26, 2023
Note. I wrote this poem as I pondered the loneliness of my hands after my grandsons returned to their parents. I was also thinking about my Kenyan colleague who has been in Africa for the summer.
Old Mom to Young Mom
Holding Little Hands
Our grandsons from Indiana, ages 6 and 3, just spent the week with my husband and I. In what has become a summer tradition, they stay with us while their parents enjoy a quiet break. I am Grandma but function like mom to them during that time. This special week includes seven nights of bedtime routine and eight days of making sure they are safe crossing parking lots and streets.
My favorite part is the hand-holding. With a grandson on each side during bedtime, the day ends with each holding one of my hands. Lying together in the quiet of the evening, I deeply absorb the treasure of those times. These little hands would soon go home. And, all too soon, these little hands would grow up and perhaps not want to hold hands with Grandma.
We met our daughter and her husband at a McDonald’s halfway between their home and ours. This has become our way for returning the boys to their parents. My husband and I helped our grandsons out of our vehicle and I instinctively reached to hold their hands in the parking lot. My empty hands found no little hands to hold; my grandsons, who had rushed over to their mother, were holding my daughter’s hands. As it should be.
As an old mom to young parents, I encourage you to cherish the opportunities you have to hold the hands of your children. The little hands of my children are now the parent hands holding the little hands of their own children. The little hands of their children, my grandchildren, are many hours away. Until we are together again I will enjoy the precious memory of holding their little hands. Think of me and hold a child’s hand. Those little hands grow up so fast.
Dear Dr. Mac
To Kerrie,
As I write this I have a glass of water resting on my new trivet from you. I am amazed you found something that said, “May I publish with the voice of thanksgiving, and tell of all thy wondrous works. Psalms 26:7.” I am grateful for the mystery and wonder of this gift, and for your friendship.
[signed] Cindy
To Marci,
Thanks for your weekly notes of encouragement. Each week, after 25 hours, I receive a report from Substack for the views of a new post. Also, within that first 25 hours, I get a note from you. Thanks so much for that! It means a lot to me.
[signed] Cindy
Dear Readers:
You can find all my previous posts at ARCHIVE
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