Love
Ancient Tradition of Re-Gifting
Introduction
In this last of four parts of the Christmas series, I reflect on love. At Christmas we spend time with those we love and we give each other gifts, purchased or made in love. Thank you for joining me as I ponder love as an ancient tradition of re-gifting
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A Minute of Motivation
Love’s Immeasurable Gift
According to Paul Tillich, “the first duty of love is to listen.”
If you want to show someone you care about them, listen to them. Listen and focus on what they are saying and feeling at the moment, not on what you’re going to say next. Listening to someone just for their benefit, rather than for yours, is a gift which knows no price.
To really listen is to give another person your full attention for a period of time; the time you give is a piece of you. To focus on what another person is trying to say, rather than on what you want to say, is to give that person a piece of your life. The value of such a gift is so large it cannot be measured.
If you want to show someone you care, give them a piece of your life and your heart – LISTEN. Just listen.
Note. Originally published in 1992.
Enjoy Life More
Dr. Mac’s Guide to Re-Gifting
Getting and receiving gifts is one of the traditions of Christmas. But what is the etiquette for gifts we receive but don’t want to keep? Should they be returned? Should they be received with gratitude and kept? Should they be re-gifted, passed on to someone else?
I think this is a complicated subject. Returning gifts can make the giver feel bad, unless somehow they don’t know. Keeping an unwanted gift may mean creating storage space for it or learning to use it. Giving the unwanted gift to someone else is tricky because they may not want it either. Why would you pass on something you didn’t want?
If the gift is handmade or homemade its handling should be treated with great care. These are gifts of time and should not be re-gifted. They can be shared. Or, in some cases, passed down as heirlooms after an extended passage of time.
Time can never be re-gifted. Once given, the gift of time cannot be returned or reclaimed. Giving away time to someone will never create a conundrum of whether or not to re-gift.
Love can always be re-gifted. In fact, it might be safe to say that love is always re-gifted. You give love to someone and they respond by giving love to another person, sometimes back to you. The one receiving love is prompted to pass that love onto another or give it back. And somehow this process doesn’t deplete the reservoir of love, it expands it.
To enjoy life more, give more love away. Re-gifting love is always proper etiquette. And, to completely avoid re-gifting dilemmas, give your love away as time.
Faith Corner
“We love because He first loved us.” (1 John 4:19)
Christmas is known as a season of gift-giving. This ancient tradition began in response to a child’s birth in Bethlehem to a woman named Mary, accompanied by her husband, Joseph. The couple is portrayed in nativity scenes, with a baby lying in straw, surrounded by livestock and shepherds. These scenes typically include wise men, usually three, carrying gifts of gold, frankincense, and myrrh.
Those first gifts would seem the logical origin of the Christmas gift-giving tradition. Each person, trying also to be a “wise” gift-giver, carefully selects and delivers their gifts. The precedent for rare and expensive gifts is a tough standard for future generations.
But the gifts of precious metals and spices were not the origin of two thousand years of gift-giving at Christmas. Gift-giving started with the baby because the baby was a gift.
According to ancient scripture, “God so loved the world that He gave His one and only son” (see John 3:16). That son, named Jesus, was born as a human baby. Love came down from the heavenly plane into the earthly plane, taking on mortal form.
The baby is the source of two thousand years of gift-giving. Jesus, as a gift of love to all humanity, is the source of love from which all re-gifting of love began. We love because He first loved us.
Dear Lord, thank You for Christmas. I confess to not being able to comprehend the gift of love delivered to humanity as the baby in the straw. Help me to know the truth of this ancient gift and its depth of love for me and all people. Thank You for being the source of all good gifts. Help me to be a conduit for re-gifting the love you give to me. Amen.
Poetry Pause
Love Like Water
Love is like water,
Flowing from Above,
Filling Empty Places,
Refreshing Parched Hearts;
Overflowing Beyond.
Descending Lower & Deeper,
Satisfying the Thirsty.
Down, Around, and Out.
By Cindy MacGregor, December 23, 2022
Note. This poem reflects how I think about love. I am not the original source, just a conduit.
Old Mom to Young Mom
Re-Gifted Parenting
Have you ever heard the voice of your parent coming out of your mouth? In a flash of self-awareness, you realize, “I sound just like my mom (or dad)!”
Or, perhaps you have been embarrassed by something your child said because you heard your words coming out of their little mouths?
We learned from our parents even when we didn’t know we were learning. Similarly, our children are learning from us even when we don’t want them to!
Parenting is re-gifted across the generations, from parent to child, who becomes a parent, who gifts their parenting to their own child; and the cycle repeats again and again. When love is the nature of this parental re-gifting the transmission is a beautiful, repeating, pattern.
For some, their parents had a limited supply of love to give. Or, perhaps the love was always contingent upon qualifying conditions. In such cases, the parent is wise NOT to re-gift the parenting they knew as children. Instead, they have the opportunity to create a new tradition of parental re-gifting.
What type of parent do you want your child to be? Be that type of parent to your child.
Dear Dr. Mac
Dear Cindy,
Your post on Joy was beautiful. Thank you so much!
Signed, A New Reader
Dear New Reader,
Thank you so much for becoming a subscriber! Your email warms my heart and encourages me to keep giving away my writing. I want to make sure you know you can find all my previous posts, at https://cindymacgregor.substack.com/archive .
Cindy (aka drmac)
If you would like to hear what I think about something, please send an email to: drcjmacgregor@outlook.com; I will respond via email or in this section of a future newsletter, or both. I hope to hear from you!