Do you feel misunderstood? Have your actions confused or perplexed others, or been judged by them in ways that don’t make sense to you? Understanding is based on knowing, but who really knows me?
Note. This is a chert artifact found by me at Mystery Acres. It is technically considered an “aborted preform,” shaped by prehistoric hands for an unknown purpose and discarded for mysterious reasons.
My Mysterious Mind
I often feel misunderstood at a deep level. There is some existential reality of being alone and unknown that haunts me. Though many people would say they “know” me, I don’t feel known by any person, not deeply, truly, and completely. I have been pondering whether other people feel as I do.
What is it like to be Patrick Mahomes? He is the fastest rising NFL quarterback in modern football history. His meteoric ascent into stardom has been unprecedented, breaking record after record. In the first games of the current season there seems like something is “off” for him. I wonder, “What is going on with Patrick Mahomes?”
I speculate that he is struggling from the prolonged burden of being the quarterback, carrying the responsibility of the offense for every play. Other players substitute in and out, but not the QB. He only gets a break when the defense takes the field. I watched Russell Wilson get to sit out a few plays when his backup quarterback, Jaxson Dart, took the lead. Weird. That doesn’t usually happen for the quarterback, and it never happens for Patrick Mahomes. The game is in his hands for every play of the offense. Every play.
In trying to know what is going on with Patrick Mahomes I am projecting my own experiences. For four years I have served as congregational president without a vice-president. Every council and voters meeting has been in my hands. Every meeting. Mahomes seems burdened. I am burdened. I try to understand what is happening with him by viewing his life through knowledge of my life.
But I don’t know what it is like to be Patrick Mahomes. I cannot know what it is like to be him. Only he knows. I can seek to understand, but I cannot really understand. He dressed very strangely before last week’s game. I don’t know why he did that; I don’t understand. Truthfully, I cannot understand because I don’t know enough about what it’s like to be him.
Misunderstanding is built upon faulty conclusions drawn from incomplete knowledge. You cannot understand me because you cannot know what it’s like to be me. I can’t understand you because I can’t know what it’s like to be you. How do we live in this mystery of inevitable misunderstanding, wondering, “who really knows me?”
Message of Mystery Acres
During my many walks through the forest, I have collected dozens of interesting pieces of rock. The majority of these intriguing stones seem to have been altered by human hands. I pick them up because they look to me to not be natural. I think, “Someone did this.” But I haven’t known for sure.
This past weekend I learned about prehistoric stone tools from an emeritus faculty member who literally wrote the book on such artifacts found in Missouri. He explained the process of archeological discovery, the stages of prehistoric human development, and how to discern natural from manmade stone altering. Each participant was invited to bring a few items from their own collection for the expert to analyze.
In all my collecting, I have only found one item I labeled an arrowhead. Turns out that is the wrong name; it is a spear point, probably a Snyders. In his assessment it is from the time period of 250-500 A.D. Wow!
I asked him to examine other strange pieces from my “collection” To each one he began his remarks the same way, “This is an artifact.” My intuition that these shapes were not naturally produced was correct. Someone was trying to make something! He helped me interpret the pattern of evidence on each piece but was unable to draw conclusions about time period or purpose. Each was something “aborted” for unknown reasons.
Unknown. I am at peace about the limits of such knowing and understanding. The rest is a mystery and I am OK with that. I can’t know more. The hands who shaped these pieces have been dead for centuries, their voices silent for a millennia. I can’t understand more. But I can know this rock I hold in my hands was held by another person long, long ago. They were working with a purpose known to them, but unknown to me.
The message of Mystery Acres is one of incomplete understanding based on restricted knowledge. I can’t understand more because I cannot know more. My acceptance of these limits when holding a prehistoric stone artifact can transfer to the peace I could choose to have about the actions of people. There are things people do that I cannot understand, but their actions are based on knowledge I lack about them. Somehow, I can be at peace about such limits of understanding about a shaped rock; can I offer myself the same calm consideration towards people?
Ancient Mystery’s Voice
Jesus said, “Don’t you know Me, Philip, even after I have been with you for such a long time?” (see John 14:9)
Philip was one of the disciples who traveled with Jesus during His earthly ministry. But, even after all of the time with Jesus, Philip still didn’t understand. Which means that Jesus was misunderstood.
That brings me comfort. If the Son of God was not able to be understood, it seems likely that I won’t be either. I mean, surely He was an excellent communicator. As “the Word made flesh” it should have been easy for Him to be a master at using words. And yet, Jesus, the best communicator with the greatest command of language was misunderstood by those closest to Him.
What’s the problem here?
Well, if Jesus is the highest level of communicator, the problem with Him being known and understood must be in people. Something is impairing human ability to know and understand Jesus.
Paul, writing two thousand years ago, described the problem this way: “Now I know in part; then I shall know fully” (see 1 Cor. 13:12). He was defining the incomplete knowledge humans can have this side of heaven. There is something wrong with our ability to know fully, and, with that inadequate knowing comes misunderstanding.
Philip, having passed from this life to the next, understands perfectly now. The dingy lenses of mortal life discarded, he sees Jesus without a sinful filter. While mortal, Philip could only know Jesus in part, but now he knows Jesus fully.
The clouded perspective of being human makes it impossible to see Jesus clearly. But being clearly seen and known by Jesus has never been a problem. His vision is unimpaired. With God the Father, Jesus has known me before I was formed in my mother’s womb. You have been completely known for that long, too!
Ancient Mystery’s Voice comforts me by showing that my feeling misunderstood was also something Jesus experienced. Until I fully know Him, I can find strength in realizing I am fully known now. Other people may have limited understanding of me based on their incomplete knowledge of what it is to be me, but my Lord knows, loves, and understands me completely now.
Living in Mystery
What does it mean to live in the mystery of being misunderstood, wondering who really knows me? It starts with recognizing that limited knowledge is the foundation of misunderstanding. With more knowledge comes better understanding. If I don’t understand someone, a better understanding will emerge from increased knowledge.
However, that understanding will always be limited because no person can completely know another person. I cannot fully know you. You can’t fully know me. I will never fully understand you. You will never fully understand me. I know in part. You know in part. The rest is a mystery. And that’s OK. The problem comes when we form judgments with the limited knowledge we have. We can’t accurately judge because we can’t fully know.
Even Jesus was misunderstood by those who lived with Him. Happily, His understanding of me isn’t flawed or limited. He knows me fully, and, here’s the surprising part, He loves me anyway! In our human view of things, we fear being fully known because we fear not being loved as we truly are. That’s not a problem for Jesus. We don’t have to hide from God like Adam and Eve because we’ve messed up. God knows already. His love isn’t damaged by our damage. God loves damaged people, which is a good thing since those are the only kind of people there are!
I had a reader tell me she felt like she knew me because of reading what I write each week. I don’t write so that you will know me. I write so that, in exposing things about myself, you can know yourself better. I show you the shadows and struggles and joys I experience, so you can live a more complete life. And, woven through it all, I share the ways I have known the love of God, in the hopes you will increase in knowing His love for you.
This side of eternity’s perfection, misunderstanding is normal because limited knowledge is pervasive. Instead of rushing to judgment and misunderstanding, we can seek to know more about the behavior we don’t understand. We can hold each other in our hearts like I hold those mysterious rocks in my hand, with wonder and awe of the mystery that is another person. And when we feel misunderstood, we can turn to our Creator, who knows us, understands us, and loves us.
Connecting with Mystery
Dear Lord of All Mystery, I struggle with feeling misunderstood and with misunderstanding those around me. Help me to accept the mystery of another person without judgment, knowing in part and understanding in part. Thank You for knowing me, understanding me, and loving me anyway. I look forward to knowing you more fully. Amen.
Notes from Dr. Mac
If you want to do your own investigation of any of the scriptures I use, I suggest you go to Bible Gateway. This free online version of the Bible allows a search of words or phrases in various translations. I encourage you to read the book of John.
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