Not Alone
Finding Strength "With"
Introduction
This week I have pondered being alone, specifically, how to find strength when feeling alone. Thank you for joining me in The Adventure of Reflection, as I explore the antidote for feeling alone, i.e., being “with.”
A Minute of Motivation
Don’t Go It Alone
If you were going on a vacation to an exciting place, who would you take with you? Or, would you go alone?
If you’re like most people, you would want to take a companion with you, giving as your reason that the trip would be more fun with a friend. Also, it would be less scary to travel to an unknown destination if you had someone with you.
Life is a crazy and difficult journey, far harder than any vacation. Do you try to travel life by yourself? Do you try to solve your own problems, cry hidden tears, and celebrate lonely victories?
Hopefully you have learned that any journey is enhanced by quality companionship. Share your joys as well as your sorrows with a few close friends. Be willing to cry on the shoulder of a friend, and allow your friend to cry on your shoulder. Tell someone about your triumphs and your defeats. Celebrate your victories together and comfort each other in your losses. It has been said: “Friendship multiples our joy and divides our grief.”
Know when you need the help of another and be willing to ask for that help. If you’re scared, a friend can give you courage. If you’re sad, a friend can comfort you. If you’re feeling lost, a friend can help you find your way again. Whatever the burden, it will be easier to carry if you have the loving companionship of others.
Friendship – don’t leave home without it! Don’t go it alone. Go with someone.
Note. Originally written pre-1993 and preserved on dot-matrix printer paper. Published for the first time here.
Enjoy Life More
The Opposite of Alone
Most words have an opposite, known as an antonym. When we talk about the opposite of alone, we usually say “not alone.” Seriously, in all of the English language, “not alone” is the best we can do for an antonym?
An online Thesaurus offers words such as collectively, jointly, and mutually. It also offers “together” as the opposite of “alone.” But even that doesn’t seem quite right. Instead of “alone” we would probably say “together with” – which is TWO words.
I propose we consider just the word “with” as the opposite of “alone.” Are you alone, or are you with? Instead of saying “I am not alone” or “You are not alone” try saying “I am with” or “You are with.”
I know what you are thinking…..there needs to be another noun: with [fill-in-the-blank]. Examples include “with me” or “with us.” This shift in encouragement changes from “you are not alone” to a state of togetherness with another. I am with you. You are with me.
Who are you with? Who needs you to be with them? To enjoy life more, fight ALONE by its opposite: WITH.
Faith Corner
And God said, “I will be with you.” (Exodus 3:12)
Human beings are better when not alone; human beings are meant to be with others. Adam, before Eve, was described as “not good” because he was alone. Eve was created to be with Adam.
Our lives are often interwoven with other people. We are woven into families, workplaces, neighborhoods, churches, and schools. It is good to be with each other.
But, sometimes, you are alone. Friendships end, jobs change, loved ones die, and the thread of your life feels frayed from the fabric of others. Being alone can bring the pain of loneliness.
It is into this loneliness that God says, ‘I am with you.” Even the name Immanuel, one of the names of Jesus, means “God with us.” My confirmation verse is Joshua 1:9, which includes the assurance: “God will be with you wherever you go.”
This promise of God being “with” me has been especially meaningful to me recently. At work I am programmatically homeless and alone; I don’t belong with any academic program. As church president I have many fantastic people serving with me, however, I have no Vice-President to share the responsibility of leadership. The burdens of both work and church roles, and recurring threats of alone-ness, sometimes frighten and discourage me.
Recently, when anchoring myself for a day of meetings about which I felt an impending alone-ness, I prayed for a word from the Lord to take with me. I distinctly heard Him say “Exodus.” When I asked for more detail, He replied “3” and then, “12.” This direction brought me to a very clear word to carry me into the looming void of my day: “And God said, ‘I will be with you.’”
Dear Lord, sometimes in a world full of people I feel frightened and discouraged. Thank You for Your promise of being with me. Help me to find courage and strength in You, especially when I am feeling alone. Thank You for being with me now and always. Amen.
Poetry Pause
W.I.T.H.
Walk Into The Hardness.
Whisper Into Tired Hearts.
Wait In The Holiness.
Weave Incredibly Tender Help.
With you I am Together and Happy.
We Inspire Tremendous Hope.
By Cindy MacGregor, February 10, 2023
Note. This poem is about walking with someone who needs a friend. It is meant as a story of the developing of a mature friendship.
Old Mom to Young Mom
Be With Other Moms
I was reminded recently of a wonderful piece written by Erma Bombeck about how special mothers are (https://www.goodreads.com/work/quotes/421248-when-god-created-mothers ). [Thank you, Tamara for sending this!] Erma described the creation of mothers, which included six pairs of hands and three pairs of eyes. The special design feature was the ability to cry so mothers could process overwhelming “joy, disappointment, loneliness, and pride.”
Oh, yes, crying was, and still is, an essential part of being a mom. There is so much loving, and then letting go, through the years of raising a baby into an adult, and so much crying. Sometimes a parent watches a child leave ahead of them from this life into the next, which means more crying. Often the mother, as the “heart of the home” feels what is happening more deeply than a father. My husband is a wonderful man, but his heart doesn’t work like mine does. His “design features” are different than mine. He is more designed for giving advice and fixing things.
Only other moms truly understand the emotional impact of being a mom. If you are a mom, I encourage you to be with other moms to process what is happening to you as you raise and release your children. If you are a dad, encourage the mother of your kids to be with other moms. She may not need your advice or fixing; more likely she needs to be with someone who feels what she feels.
Dear Dr. Mac
[Re: “Love is a Decision” in “Porcupines”]
Cindy,
Oh. My. Goodness. This poem is so good! Would you allow me to share it with my pastor? We often do videos or voice overs for content during worship services. I would love to use this poem for a video to include during worship. Could we have your permission to record two voices reading it with some video images that would coordinate with it? This poem is so beautiful...I just had to ask.
Please keep writing and sharing!!
Signed, Sarah
Dear Sarah,
I would be honored for you to use the poem in any way you think it would be beneficial. Please share the video link with me; I will include it in a future newsletter for my readers. Thanks for supporting my work with your encouraging words!!!
In His Service,
Cindy
To My Readers:
If you would like to share your thoughts or ask me something, please send an email to: drcjmacgregor@outlook.com; I will respond via email or in this section of a future newsletter, or both. I hope to hear from you!
You can find all my previous posts at https://cindymacgregor.substack.com/archive