My husband likes to have a sponge handy for cleaning the kitchen counter and the dishes. This absorbent rectangle, used again and again, might become too contaminated for ongoing use. Instead of being able to clean something, it just transfers filth previously absorbed. Our hearts are like sponges, absorbing whatever is nearby. And, like dirty sponges, can also spread toxicity. What can be done to restore a dirty sponge-heart?
My Mysterious Mind
Children have been described as sponges, absorbing whatever they see or hear. I’ve been thinking about how I am still a sponge, and how the experiences I have get soaked into me, some good, and some not so good. My absorbent mind loves learning new ideas and thinking in new ways. Meanwhile, my heart is also absorbing.
For example, I have recently been watching documentary series on Netflix. My current series is about the Cold War between the United States and Russia. It fascinates my absorbent mind to learn more details about the building of the Berlin Wall, the development of nuclear weapons, and the Cuban Missile Crisis. The foundation for the nuclear struggle began long before I was born or became aware of it. My awareness of the global nuclear threat dialed in during the 1970s and 1980s, when, as an adolescent I can remember thinking about getting vaporized or surviving nuclear winter. Captivated, I watch a little more of the series each night.
What I have noticed is that my absorbent heart is being affected, not just my absorbent mind. This series leaves me troubled. I had learned to live with the constant possibility of global destruction by nuclear weapons, honestly not even thinking about it. I want to watch this show because I want to learn, but the side effect is an accumulation of distress in my heart.
Which got me thinking about what else my heart might be absorbing when I am not paying attention. I have been trying to notice what I see and hear and how my heart is responding, what my heart is absorbing. Conversations, media messages, and radio programs are all sending out something for my sponge of a heart to soak up. And, like a sponge, taking in what is put out near me is unavoidable. If someone I love expresses toxic feelings, I notice myself pulling away to not be badly contaminated. This act of self-preservation might not seem like a very loving reaction, but sometimes I just can’t absorb any more pain.
Some people are more absorbent than others, their sensitive hearts ready to pull in the mood of others. Such “heart people” are drawn to helping professions because caring about the pain of others is so natural for them. Other people, whose hearts are less absorbent, might even be called hard-hearted. On the continuum of super-absorbent to hard-hearted, everyone’s heart is a sponge.
Thinking about your heart as a sponge, filled with whatever it has absorbed, makes me wonder about the pressures of life, and what might gush out of us when situations squeeze us. If my full heart drips something, and those near me soak it up, what impact does that have on another person? What can I do about someone whose sponge is dripping toxin into my world? How can I purify what is in my heart, so others won’t be poisoned by what leaks when life squeezes me?
Message of Mystery Acres
The forest is a place of purification for me. No matter how tainted the contents of my sponge-heart, nature’s purity can cleanse me. The toxins contaminating my heart can be released there, without damaging anyone or anything.
That’s the trick, really. How can we get rid of the nastiness our hearts have absorbed without another person being damaged by soaking it up? My first profession was as a psychotherapist. I saw thirty clients a week, my naïve and vulnerable heart soaking in the vile experiences and attitudes they brought to me. Unable to preserve my heart’s well-being, I left that profession and taught college.
And that professional shift worked for me and my absorbent heart. After teaching a class, my heart would feel full, and only in the best possible way. I could start class feeling depleted, only to finish class hours later feeling delightfully saturated. And what I had absorbed was the joy of creating learning for others, with others.
Then, in the spring of 2020, everything changed. You have your own stories, and I’ve written about many of mine, but the forest was essential to my heart’s survival. Every weekend of the pandemic shutdown, my husband and I would head to Mystery Acres, which we had fortuitously purchased in 2019. I would arrive contaminated by fear, loneliness, and sorrow, only to leave two days later with a heart ready for another week of suffering.
The message of Mystery Acres invites each of us to ponder where we might find healing for the toxic build-up in our sponge-hearts. Such places could be physical spaces, such as my forest; they can also be certain relationships. The forest can absorb our toxic emotions without damaging itself; the same is not always true for what happens to those near us when our toxicity is released.
Ancient Mystery’s Voice
“Give your toxic emotions to Jesus, because what bothers you matters to Him.” (see 1 Peter 5:7)
Peter, one of the disciples who walked with and learned from Jesus, provides some advice regarding toxic heart build-up. In a verse often translated as something like “cast your anxiety on Him because He cares for you,” I see this transfer of troubles from us to Jesus. The burden to be placed on Jesus has been translated as anxiety, worries, cares, and troubles. Jesus accepts this transfer of toxic emotions because He cares about us, is concerned about our well-being, and, in essence, what bothers us matters to Him.
The heart of Jesus is super-absorbent and has infinite capacity to receive the toxic content of our hearts. And, unlike what might happen to another person who absorbs our pain, Jesus is able to respond only in love. He doesn’t pull away, saying “your pain is too much for me right now.” A human might, even a good friend may withdraw from us, but Jesus never does.
The infinite sponge-heart of God can not only absorb our toxicity but can transform and cleanse it. I’m reminded here of Jesus’ first miracle, where He turned water into wine. The ordinary, or even dirty, contents of our hearts can be changed into something extraordinary.
Ancient Mystery’s Voice invites us to bring what troubles us, what contaminates our sponge- hearts, and allow Jesus’ restorative power to purify us. Bring your toxic emotions to Jesus, because what bother you matters to Him. And He can handle it without ever pulling away.
Living in Mystery
What does it mean to live in the mystery of hearts, like sponges, absorbing messes nearby? First, it means recognizing the susceptibility of the human heart to absorb emotional content. With this awareness comes the responsibility for protecting the center of our own emotions from contamination and respecting the potential impact of our toxicity on others. Picture your heart as a sponge and a similar heart-sponge in the people around you. Toxic messages and poisonous media content are sucked into the emotional core. Beware, be aware, of the negativity and damaging implications of images and audio streams bombarding absorbent hearts. Protect your sponge!
Seek places and people who fill your sponge-heart with good content. Listen to encouraging news. Read uplifting messages. Invest time with hopeful people. Saturate your heart with what is positive. A healthy heart is filled with courage, hope, and love. But a sponge doesn’t choose what it absorbs; that’s the owner’s job, your job. Bring your heart where it can be saturated with what is good. Absorb good stuff!
What if someone you love has a contaminated sponge-heart and that toxin is dripping into your world, being absorbed by your heart? In reality, this probably happens to some extent every day in every relationship we have. Each of us has absorbed pain, which we can’t help but share with those closest to us. Ideally, two things characterize these exchanges. First, the exchange is mutual, with neither dumping excessively onto the other. Second, the level of dumping is not destructive; the relationship survives as do the individuals in the relationship. Thus, even in a healthy relationship, a certain amount of toxic emotion is shared, resulting in shared contamination.
When your heart becomes contaminated, it needs purging or purification. Toxic contents can be purged through journaling, talking with a professional counselor, or sharing with a spiritual advisor. Purging toxicity into a friendship can help, but it can also cause damage to the recipient, so be careful. Prayerful purging to Jesus can be quite effective, and doesn’t harm the recipient, Who is able to absorb all our pain and purify our hearts. Purify your sponge!
Caring for our heart-sponges also involves seeking places of restoration. For me, that includes the forest and church services. Worshiping the Creator in His creation or with fellow believers is restorative for my heart. Where are your places of heart-restoration? I just took a break and sat on the deck. The arrival of the season’s first hummingbird brought joy for my heart to absorb.
As an old mom to young parents, I challenge you to protect the sponge-hearts of your children. Their friends matter. Their participation in social media matters. What you listen to or watch matters. Children ARE sponges. Guide them to what is good for their hearts to absorb and shield them from what contaminates them.
Caring for an absorbent heart, your own or someone else’s, requires continuous vigilance and periodic maintenance. Protection from toxic experiences and messaging can help, but even daily interactions with other people bring some contamination. Regularly seeking places of purification and purging provides the necessary maintenance for a healthy sponge-heart. And, remember, there is One whose heart can infinitely absorb whatever troubles you; and He can transform your toxicity into something beautiful and pure.
Connecting with Mystery
Dear Lord of All Mystery, my heart is such a mess sometimes, having soaked up toxins from what’s around me. Guide me to healthy places for my heart and encouraging relationships. When my heart becomes contaminated, show me how to purge the toxins in healthy ways. Thank You for having a heart that can always absorb what bothers me because You care about me. Amen.
Notes from Dr. Mac
If you want to do your own investigation of any of the scriptures I use, I suggest you go to Bible Gateway. This free online version of the Bible allows a search of words or phrases in various translations. I encourage you to do meditate on Peter’s advice in his first letter and practice talking to Jesus about what bothers you.
Do you want more from my writing? I have almost three years of previous posts, which you can find at my ARCHIVE. I also have topically organized compilations of my previous work in the My Books section. And Mystery’s Voice is on Spotify.
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