Stop Grumbling
Surrendering Your "Right" to Complain
Introduction
I am always amazed when I ask someone, “how are you doing?” and they respond, “I can’t complain.” Seriously? You can’t complain? I certainly can. Any day. Any time. My critical mind is quite good at finding something that isn’t acceptable.
In this edition of The Adventure of Reflection I invite you to explore, with me, the tendency to grumble and complain.
A Minute of Motivation
Oh, Fertilizer!
Does life ever give you fertilizer? Are you ever going along just fine in life, feeling like nothing can stop you or slow you down, and then it feels like manure has been dropped on you?
Think of yourself as a little plant, straining to grow as big and as beautiful as you can. What would a plant do if it had raw fertilizer dumped on it?
Basically, the plant has two choices. It can wallow in self-pity and say, “Why is this happening to me? This isn’t what I wanted! This is too much! I can’t handle this! This really stinks!”
OR, the little plant could look at the fertilizer as something it could use for its own growth. By taking parts of the manure and using it, the plant could rise above its situation, better, stronger, and more beautiful than before.
Which kind of plant are you? Do you complain when life gives you fertilizer, or, do you figure out how to use that fertilizer for your own growth?
The next time life gives you what a friend of mine politely calls “bovine excrement,” instead of cussing, try saying, “Oh, . . . fertilizer!”
Note. Originally published in 1992.
Enjoy Life More
Grateful or Grouchy?
One morning recently, when I woke up and greeted my husband, already awake for over an hour, I was met with a stiff kiss. My “good morning!” was not returned with a cheerful reply. Instead, a grouchy greeting filled the first moments of my day. Uh-oh. What’s wrong?
Part of the electricity to our house had suddenly gone out, after a strange sizzling noise. Our favorite TV and favorite power-recliner sat cold and still. It wasn’t just a popped circuit breaker. Something was actually not working.
I did my best to grab a cheerful and helpful attitude, despite not yet having breakfast or a cup of coffee. What could I do to help? I offered suggestions from my limited knowledge of electricity.
I fought the urge to grumble (in my mind) about the grumbly start to my day. Oh, I wanted to go there so badly! But to respond to grumbling with more grumbling would only further drain the joy out of the gift of a brand new day.
Inside my mind I sought a grateful response. Thank you for my husband. Thank you for the electricity working in the rest of the house. Thank you that we have another TV and another set of recliners (albeit mechanical and not electrical). Thank you that I could go to work. Thank you that we know a good electrician to call.
And, I turned to prayer. Please help this problem to be resolved quickly. Please keep the cost minimal. Please help this not ruin today.
During a challenging time, joy can be preserved by more prayer and intentional gratitude. Of the two choices, grateful or grouchy, the better choice is obvious.
Postscript: the problem was resolved the same day and for a low cost.
Faith Corner
“Do everything without grumbling.” Phil. 2:14
Do you have a “right” to complain? Have you ever reluctantly agreed to something but said you “reserve grumbling rights” as part of your concession? Is grumbling a “right” of some sort?
Paul, in his directive to the Philippian people, answers with a resounding “NO!” Grumbling is NOT a right. In fact, he said “do everything without grumbling” while imprisoned and in chains. Whoa. I would definitely grant him the right to complain under those circumstances.
And, yet, Paul didn’t claim a right to complain. Instead, he advised to do everything without grumbling. Note, he didn’t say “most things.” He didn’t say “minimal grumbling.” He said everything was to be done without grumbling. Why would he say something like that?
Complaining about something is the opposite of being grateful. To grumble is to criticize the plans God has made for me. This discontented approach undermines faith and trust in the unfailing love of God.
The inclination to complain is not a right, but it is our human nature. Grumbling is so easy. Not grumbling takes effort and intention. We can fight the gloomy tendency to grumble by substituting prayers of thanks and requests for God’s help.
Lord, help me to live this day without grumbling. May the difficulties of today prompt me to call out to You for help. Stir up an attitude of thankfulness in me. In Jesus’ name. Amen.
Poetry Pause
Seeds of Pain
Seeds of pain,
Planted during darkness,
Watered by my tears;
Something new is growing,
Hidden in the soil --
A blessing I can’t see . . .
Yet.
By Cindy MacGregor, May 6, 2020
Note. The year of the pandemic was extraordinarily difficult for many of us, including me. That place of pain evoked this poem, my attempt to find hope in the overwhelming darkness.
Old Mom to Young Mom
Give Thanks for Laundry
Children produce mountains of laundry. Little ones might go through several changes of clothes each day. Sweaty teens, especially those doing athletic activities, generate mountains of smelly laundry. I can remember times of seemingly infinite sock-sorting.
But, here’s the thing: those mountains were temporary. They seemed endless, but now those mountains are at the homes of my daughters, as they struggle to keep up with the clothing demands of their children. And, in my moments of bittersweet reflection, I miss those piles of unmatched socks.
My advice for you this week is to practice giving thanks for the laundry in your world. As you launder the clothing of someone else in your home, try saying “thank you for this person in my life” as you process each piece. “Thank you for the little feet who wear these socks.” “Thank you for the sweaty body of this teenager, who will soon move out.” “Thank you for a home filled with other people to love, whose presence creates this laundry.” You get the idea.
Give thanks for laundry. It is evidence that you are not alone. I don’t regret the countless hours I processed clothing; I only regret I wasn’t more grateful.
Dear Dr. Mac
I am going to offer some advice in this section but I am also going to respond to requests for advice if I receive questions from any of you. You can send an email to: drcjmacgregor@outlook.com and I will respond either via email or in this section of a future newsletter, or both.