In wrestling, when a player is overwhelmed, “tapping out” ends the match. The action of tapping one’s hand signals defeat. Life can also create the feeling of being “tapped out,” when energy and drive to continue are depleted. The demands of the battle have exceeded the resources to fight.
In contrast, “tapping in” means accessing resources. This could be the simple act of paying with a phone by tap-to-pay. It could also mean drawing money out of an account saved for emergencies. It also brings to mind a barrel and tapping into its contents.
When feeling defeated, instead of tapping out, what if there were resources to keep going, resources available for tapping in? Are you tapped out? Try tapping in!
My Mysterious Mind
In my last message, I talked about Theory of Margin. When resources are greater than load, the difference is called margin. Within that space of “extra” are held the available resources which can be used to help others, to rejuvenate oneself, or to deal with the unexpected. When load strips all available resources, depleting margin, the resulting feeling is one of being tapped out. One way to increase margin is to decrease load; another way to gain margin is to increase resources. It’s simple addition and subtraction, really.
Simple, yes, but not easy. Using the plate metaphor, improving margin is like taking things off your plate (decreasing load) or making your plate bigger (increasing margin). When there is room on the plate for all of life’s demands AND you can see the decorative border around the edges, that’s margin. When things are falling off the plate, or piled so high you feel overwhelmed, that’s a lack of margin. We all get how having too many demands in life is a problem, and how decreasing demands could be a solution. That is analogous to having less on your plate. But what about getting a bigger plate?
Or, better yet, what if the plate being too small is just an illusion? I’ve been pondering demands verses resources and the very real possibility of already having more than enough resources from which to find margin. Being tapped out might not be reality, particularly if there are piles of untapped resources nearby. What if our plates are bigger than we think?
When we moved to our current neighborhood almost thirty years ago, we were situated between five houses, ours the third one down the private lane. After meeting these neighbors, I was surprised that one day the neighbor at the top of the hill called to ask if we had something she needed for a dish she was making. If so, she would like to borrow from our resources. This pattern continued over the years, borrowing eggs, cooking oil, an extra casserole dish, and a brownie pan, just to name a few. Eventually we learned to ask for favors, too. No one kept a balance sheet because we were just being good neighbors. What was in my cabinet was an extension of their cabinets and vice versa. Our shared resources are much greater than our separate ones.
I went to kindergarten, but I somehow never learned sharing until I learned it from these neighbors. My “plate” is bigger because it includes their additional resources. Which makes me wonder: perhaps our plates are too small because we don’t know how to share. Maybe this doesn’t just apply to flour or sugar but also to time and expertise. What if we lived our lives with more in common and less “mine” and “my”? If we find ourselves tapped out it could be because we aren’t tapping into each other.
Message of Mystery Acres
My mother never visited Mystery Acres; she was gone the year before we bought it. I imagine her response would not have been favorable. As potential farmland, our 17 and a half acres is worthless. The ground is too rocky, too uneven, and too dry. About a mile from our property, in a section of cleared land, a farmer grows milo. The land, even if cleared, is too poor for better crops such as corn or soybeans. From an agricultural perspective, our land is nearly worthless because, as my mother would say, you can’t grow anything there.
And, to a farmer, our land is a terrible resource. Aside from harvesting some timber, which is very slow growing in the poor soil conditions, there isn’t much financial return available from our investment. One neighbor has added pecan trees, playing a long game, expecting a harvest in about ten years. Most of the neighbors use their adjacent property only occasionally, a few only during deer season. To a farmer, our land is an empty, nearly worthless plate. The land is tapped out, devoid of rich nutrients for growing crops.
But to view Mystery Acres as an empty, useless plate is to miss the vast resources available there. It may not be a good place to grow crops but it’s an excellent place to grow people and relationships. I can be completely tapped out when I arrive and feel satiated in moments. Even better are the physically exhausting, but emotionally renewing, visits with grandchildren. Tapping into an endless supply of rocks to discover, a grandchild with a trowel is a joy to watch. Sharing a meal with friends, sitting in lawn chairs in the forest, accesses rich resources of relationship.
The message of Mystery Acres calls to us to look past the obvious when searching for resources. A small, worthless scrub of weak soil might be a paradise where life can be restored, joy discovered, and connections strengthened. Sometimes being tapped out is just an illusion behind which an abundance is available.
Ancient Mystery’s Voice
“If you’re tapped out, try tapping into the riches available in Christ Jesus.” (inspired by Phil 4:19)
The early Christians in Philippi were tapped out. Paul wrote them a letter of encouragement, still useful today. In it, he told the believers that his God would supply their every need from the riches of glory in Christ Jesus (see Phil. 4:9). In a very rough, modern paraphrase, Paul might have said, “hey, if you’re tapped out, why not try tapping into the rich resources of Jesus? I’m confident you can get everything you need from there.”
In the balance of demand and supply, how much supply do we need to meet our needs? Paul was confident that His God had ample enough supply for every need of every person. If that supply were my neighbor, it would be like living next door to a warehouse, maybe even CostCo.
If this were a conversation, rather than a one-way letter, Paul might have asked, “What do you need?” Then, no matter the response, he’d say, “I believe my God has that for you; have you checked with Him?”
The words of Ancient Mystery invite us to lift the illusion of needs incapable of resolution and seek resources from a rich storehouse. Are you tapped out? Why not tap into the riches of Jesus? Unlike CostCo, you don’t have to pay an annual fee or show your membership card. Just ask for what you need.
Living in Mystery
What keeps us from tapping into resources beyond our limited selves, only to become tapped out? I suspect it originates as early as age two, when prideful cries of “me do it!” are accompanied by assertive efforts towards independence. Plump preschooler hands push more capable adult hands aside while tying shoes or putting on clothing. This isn’t bad. Without such willful drive towards self-competency, no child would ever leave home.
Such independence, though healthy, needs to be balanced with interdependency. We help our neighbors, and they help us. Life is better with shared resources. I confess it’s still hard for me to ask for help. I’m much more comfortable providing resources to others than accepting offers for help from them. I think it’s pride.
What does it mean to live in the mystery of tapping into resources rather than remaining tapped out? It starts with setting aside pride and accepting help. Whether it’s a hand to hold or a hand to help you up, it’s okay to extend the plate of your own resources to include something from another person. From calling a friend to unload what’s troubling you to accepting a ride to pick up your car from the shop, there are unlimited ways to extend your limited resources by including the gifts of those who want to help you. If you’re tapped out, there are many people whose resources they would gladly have you tap into.
Tapping into resources is a bit like using gift cards. I was feeling tapped out this week, so I pulled out my stack of gift cards. In the mix was a gift certificate to a massage clinic. Before you get too excited about a free massage, let me clarify the certificate was for sound therapy, not a massage. I decided to tap into this resource, something I had won at a fundraiser. Turns out it was vibracoustic therapy. I’m not going to lie; it was weird. But I felt renewed afterwards. If you’re tapped out, perhaps you have an untapped resource of gift cards to access.
Beyond gift cards and accepting help from others, there are multiple other sources available for tapping into. Every community has parks to visit for free. Churches offer worship services without an admission charge. Do you have a cat or a dog? Petting is free and unlimited. And there are libraries and museums just waiting for weary citizens to tap into their resources.
As an old mom to young parents, I want you to remember times when someone has offered to watch your children. Are any of these offers still unclaimed? Tapped out parents can tap into the willingness of others to spend time with their children. Like taking inventory of unused gift cards, make a list of the people who have suggested they take care of your children. Of course, don’t just drop your children off anywhere, but trusted family members and friends are an empty extension of your overcrowded parental plate. Tap in!
Being tapped out isn’t just a result of having more demands than resources; it’s also a personal choice to avoid tapping into what others have to offer. Are you tapped out? Look past the illusion of your own depletion and see the abundance waiting for you; set aside your pride and tap in.
Connecting with Mystery
Dear Lord of All Mystery, I confess to allowing myself to become tapped out, living in the illusion of depleted resources. Thank You for providing for me from Your rich storehouse of blessings available to me; I just need to ask and watch! Help me to look beyond my own limited resources and live in a community of extended and extensive supply. Thank You for helping me tap into what is available to me. Amen.
Notes from Dr. Mac
If you want to do your own investigation of any of the scriptures I use, I suggest you go to Bible Gateway. This free online version of the Bible allows a search of words or phrases. Various translations can be selected from the old-time language of the King James version to the more modernized language of The Message. Paul’s letter to the Philippians is a great resource to tap into.
You can find previous posts of my work at my ARCHIVE and organized compilations in the My Books section. You can also find Mystery’s Voice on Spotify.
I want to know what you’re thinking! You can email me at: Dear Dr. Mac or leave/send a message (see below). I love hearing from you!
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