The Countdown
Prepare for Departure
Introduction
What do you do in the final minutes before the plane takes off and you can’t reach anyone via your cell phone? If you are like me, you call or text a few people. Today’s “Adventure of Reflection” is about the way we live when aware of a pending departure. Thank you for joining me as I ponder the preparation for departure because of “life’s countdown.”
A Minute of Motivation
T-I-M-E
We need to always remember how important people are. Do you arrange your priorities so you have time to show others you care? Time for others is such an important expression of love that perhaps we should spell love “T-I-M-E.” Taking some of your time and investing it in someone who is important to you is a great way to show you care. It takes time to listen, it takes time to call someone on the phone, it takes time to write a letter or send a card to let someone know you’re thinking of them.
When you say, “I didn’t have time,” you really mean “It wasn’t a priority for me” – because we all have time every day to do the things we decide are most important.
Be sure to include as a priority in your life the people who are important to you, and reserve time in your daily routine to show them you care.
Note. Originally published in 1992.
Enjoy Life More
Prepare for Departure
Last night I got home and realized I had left my cell phone at my office. As I drove all the way back to retrieve it, I was uncomfortably aware of how alone I felt. I didn’t feel “lonely” – I was just feeling unconnected to the people in my world. How could they reach me? What if one of them needed to tell me something or reach out for help?
Then I thought about the countdown to a departure time for a flight. In the final 24 hours I typically have an extensive “to do” list, all with a time limit. Everything has to be done before we load up and head to the airport. Then, after getting on the plane, I typically send a few text messages. These messages are a final way to connect and prepare before being unable to use my cell phone during the flight.
By this point in my pondering, I was at my office and had retrieved my phone. On the way back home I used it to call my husband who was away for the night. Then I called my dad. I could call both of them because of two things: first, I had my cell phone, and second, neither of us had yet made their final departure from this life.
Please forgive me for the preoccupation with the finite nature of this life. I don’t mean to be morbid. I believe awareness of the limited time on life’s countdown clock creates energy for living, Have you ever noticed the higher level of play after the “two-minute warning” in a football game? The final 24 hours before a flight is similar to the countdown clock running in the background for all of us.
To enjoy life more, live each day as preparation for departure, either yours or the ones you love. You can still connect with them. When you “fly away” your “cell phone” won’t work anymore. If you want to talk – now’s the time!
Faith Corner
“If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone.” Romans 12:18
Easier said than done, right? Paul advised his readers to “live at peace with everyone” but added the qualifier “if it is possible” and “as far as it depends on you.”
It takes two people to hold onto a conflict, like a tug-of-war rope, with each holding one end. The tension between the parties puts strain on both of them, and each person is responsible. The rope, symbolic of their conflict, is tight and drains the participants in the struggle.
What happens if one person in the conflict decides to let go? In literal tug-of-war the other person will probably fall down. But, skip that part of the metaphor. Can the struggle between them continue if one person says “no more” and stops adding to the tension? Will this be a step towards living at peace?
Lord, show me the people with whom I am not at peace. Help me to “drop the rope” and offer peace into my relationships with them. Thank You for helping me to have the courage to “let go” and bring peace where there has been tension. Amen.
Poetry Pause
Mercy Clock
Defeat guaranteed;
Outmatched and Outscored;
The game time accelerates –
It’s the Mercy Clock.
Death guaranteed;
Parents gone and many friends, too;
The sense of time accelerates –
It’s Life’s Mercy Clock.
Pain increases;
Body declines and function fades;
Preparation time accelerates –
It’s God’s Mercy Clock.
By Cindy MacGregor, November 7, 2022
Note. Time seems to accelerate as we grow older. This week I have been wondering why; this poem is the product of my pondering.
Old Mom to Young Mom
Prepare for Your Departure
I wrote previously about preparing your children for their departure from your home. Parenting is about working yourself out of a job. There’s a second part of this preparation for departure – wise parents are prepared, as are their children, for their own departure.
Most children will outlive their parents. In the back of our minds we “know” this – but how do we prepare our children, and ourselves, for leaving them? The obvious ways are legal and financial, but you can get advice from countless places about those matters.
The subtler, and possibly more profound, are the emotional and spiritual forms of preparation. Emotionally, are our relationships with our children full of love and peace? Are conflicts resolved quickly and completely? Do our children know we love and accept them no matter what they have done or who they are? Adult children whose parents died during a season of conflict or distance between them are left with a wound that is very difficult to heal.
Spiritual preparation concerns the transcendent relationship we have with our children because of a shared faith. If our children are connected to us through a common set of spiritual beliefs, there will be less of a void in their world when our departure time arrives. One of us will inevitably “leave” before the other, creating an empty space in our hearts and lives. Strong spiritual preparation will soften the pain caused by that departure.
Prepare your children for your departure. Live in peace, love, and acceptance of them each day. Weave your relationship with strong cords of shared faith. One day it will be “time to go.” Live each day in joy until then.
Dear Dr. Mac
One of my readers challenged my advice regarding “All In or All Out.” He questioned the nature of such “all or nothing” commitment, advocating partial commitment as an appropriate option in some circumstances. My argument is that ambivalent commitment is the problem – should we continue or should we quit? That wishy-washy time is stressful. I recommend making a decision – be “in” or “out,” not “on the fence.” If you find yourself “in the middle” it’s time to take a step one way or the other. Being “all in” doesn’t mean giving something everything you have, that’s impossible as you wouldn’t have anything left for other priorities. Being “all in” means being certain of your commitment to someone or something, even if that commitment is a small allocation of your time and energy. It’s unhealthy to be uncertain of your commitments, no matter how large or small they are. That’s my view. I am grateful for the thinking this post prompted and welcome different perspectives, especially those different than mine.
If you would like to hear what I think about something, please send an email to: drcjmacgregor@outlook.com; I will respond via email or in this section of a future newsletter, or both. I hope to hear from you!