The Prickly Nest
When It's Time to Leave
Introduction
Life brings seasons of change where growth is only possible by letting go of the past. Thank you for joining me in this issue of The Adventure of Reflection as I use the metaphor of a prickly nest for the times in our lives when we need to leave something behind.
A Minute of Motivation
Three Magic Words: “Yes, I Can.”
Tell yourself you can’t do something, and you will be right. Tell yourself you can, and you will find whatever you need to succeed.
Tell yourself you are a successful human being, designed for greatness, because you are if you say you are. The only valid price tag you have is the one you place on yourself. The world will react to the value you assert you have. Declare yourself to be a person of worth and value, and you ARE a person of worth and value.
If you are in doubt then tell yourself, “Yes, I can.” “Yes, I can.” YES, I CAN.”
If you’re wondering whether or not you can overcome whatever challenge you are currently facing, tell yourself, “Yes, I can!” And do the work of a winner!
Note. Originally published in 1992 by my thirty-years-ago-self; re-published here because of the fear of leaving even a prickly nest. Can you find the courage to jump out of the nest? Yes, you can!
Enjoy Life More
Flap Your Wings!
I recently re-discovered a childhood book I loved reading to my children. This book, by P.D. Eastman, is called “Flap Your Wings!” It’s a delightful story of two birds who find an egg in their nest and decide to care for it, though it’s clearly not theirs. They lovingly sit on the egg to keep it warm, and, after the “occupant” emerges, they dutifully feed it many critters. Junior, as Mr. Bird calls it, is clearly not a bird, but an alligator. Nonetheless, the parent birds continue to feed Junior until the branch is sagging from the weight of a child who clearly needs to leave the nest.
One day the parents decide the time has come for Junior to leave the nest. Mrs. Bird pushes while Mr. Bird demonstrates how to fly. Junior takes a big breath and jumps into the air. His “parents” enthusiastically encourage him to “Flap your wings!” Junior “flapped and flapped. He flapped everything he had. But it didn’t do any good because he didn’t have any wings.”
Instead of flying, Junior lands in the water below and begins to swim. As the story concludes he happily waves to his “parents” in the tree above. They proudly marvel at how happy he is and how well he can swim.
This cheerful book brings me joy, particularly as I ponder leaving a prickly nest and jumping into the unknown. There is fear in jumping out of the familiar, even it has become prickly or too small. What if I cannot fly? What if I fall instead of fly?
Junior could not fly. Junior fell “Down. Down. Down.” He landed with a splash into a place that was “cool and comfortable.” It was, in fact, “just right” for him. He adapted by swimming.
What is your prickly nest? Is it time to jump? Or, have you recently jumped from a prickly nest and are still frantically flapping as you try to fly? Pause for a moment and consider yourself and your surroundings. If it’s time to jump, jump! You will be OK, even if you cannot fly. If you have recently jumped and are frantically flapping, relax for a bit and notice where you are now. It might be time to swim instead of trying to fly.
Faith Corner
“The Lord knows how to rescue from trials.” (See 2 Peter 2:9)
There’s a classic joke about a person who is trapped on the roof as the flood waters rise all around. Praying to God for help, a helicopter and then a rescue boat arrive on the scene. The person waves them on because of waiting for God to provide rescue. At the end, there is an exchange with God, who clarifies He had, in fact, provided rescue by sending the helicopter and the rescue boat.
Where do you feel trapped? Have you talked with God about your need for rescue? He has heard you. He definitely knows how to rescue you. Has He tried to send help and you have waved it off because you wanted rescue in a different form?
Sometimes we want a solution to our dilemma but not the solution in front of us. Instead of leaping into the rescue we cling to the problematic situation. We fail to trust a God who knows how to provide rescue from trials.
Dear Lord, thank You for hearing me when I cry out to You for rescue. Forgive me when I reject Your rescue attempts, wanting something different than You are providing. Help me to trust You with the solutions You send me. Grant me courage to step away from my trap and into Your everlasting arms. Amen.
Poetry Pause
Escape
Away from concrete and asphalt,
Toward forest and flowers.
Out of the chaos,
Into the ordered seasons.
Escape from evil schemes;
Find refuge in divine order.
Drained by distractions?
Be restored by nature.
Leave the cluttered world –
Find Me in the woods.
By Cindy MacGregor, April 26, 2023
Note. My husband and I have 17.5 acres of undeveloped forest we use as a private campground. It is a place of restoration, especially when the demands of life become prickly.
Old Mom to Young Mom
The “Just-Right Nest”
Home can be imagined as a nest for children. Parents hatch and nurture them in the nest. As children turn into teens, the “nest” typically becomes uncomfortable and “too small.” Tension between parents and their once-dependent children increases. The “pre-adults” spend more and more time away from the nest, with other pre-adults, until the “nest of childhood” is no longer their primary home.
Effective parents create a “just-right nest” for their children, one whose rules of occupancy adjust and expand as the children grow. Children need to stay in the safety of the nest long enough to be ready to leave, but not stay too long. The nest of one’s childhood should grow increasingly “prickly” for the developing child, who wants to ultimately be free of parental limits. The “just-right nest” should be comfortable enough for the child to stay until they are capable enough to leave, but not so comfortable that they never leave.
The “just-right nest” is also a place to return during adulthood. The sanctuary of one’s childhood nest provides a place of restoration during seasons of confusion or difficulty, especially during the early adulthood years. I remember how much it helped me to “return home” for a few days as I was learning to live away from my childhood “nest.”
As an Old Mom to young parents, I encourage you to think about the nature of the “nest” you are providing for your children. Is it “just-right” and changing as your children are maturing? Is it comfortable enough so that your children aren’t wanting to run away before they are ready? Is it uncomfortable enough so they will leave when they are ready? Will it be a welcome refuge during young adulthood, a place to recharge when needed? A “just-right nest” is a critical part of launching children successfully into lives of their own.
Dear Dr. Mac
Dear Readers:
I heard from many of you in response to my previous post, “Passed Over.” Laura said,
”Thank you for being so vulnerable and sharing your pain in being passed over. I admire you!” Marci said, “Oh wow. This is a tough one. Thank you. Hits home for so many.” Others reached out to share their experiences of being passed over or “not chosen” in relationships and jobs (good to hear from you, Casey and Ginger; and, thanks, Marian, for the hug). Overall, the collective response was greater than any previous post.
I wondered after I wrote it if I should have made it less full of distress and more full of optimism and encouragement. I had decided to be authentic in sharing my thoughts and feelings. I am not certain there are “better doors” ahead. I don’t actually think life guarantees any of us that. What I DO know is there is always good to be found, no matter the loss, no matter the pain, no matter the sense of rejection. And, judging by the kindness of the responses I got, I was not wrong. Thank you!
[signed] Dr. Mac
If you would like to share your thoughts, you can do so in two ways. You can leave a comment (see below) or send an email to: drcjmacgregor@outlook.com. If you email me, I will respond to you and, with your permission, share our dialogue in a future newsletter. I enjoy hearing from you!
You can find all my previous posts at https://cindymacgregor.substack.com/archive