Undertow
Silent Pull of Deep Water
I am not much of a swimmer; I respect those who are strong and agile in the deep waters. Knowing my limits, I stick close to the shore at the beach. I haven’t personally experienced a real undertow, but I recognize the danger of being pulled away from safety, into dangerous depths. I think there is something similar happening with the emotions of being human, where an emotional undertow can be a silent pull into deep waters.
My Mysterious Mind
This is a difficult message to write. It comes from a place I don’t like to acknowledge and definitely don’t want to expose about myself to others. There is an undertow running through my life, one that gets stronger at certain times of the year. It also sometimes grips me soon after I awaken in the mornings.
Like the undertow in the deep waters that threatens to drag swimmers away from safety, my life has a sad undercurrent that at times tries to pull me under. From time to time I am just sad without knowing why. I dare to write this because I suspect, if it happens to me, it might also be happening to you.
The undertow might grab me early, when I am quietly having my morning coffee and breakfast. At other times, I feel the pull from the deep waters because of a seasonal reminder of someone I loved but lost. And then there are the moments, too numerous to count, when I am sad because pieces of my heart live too far away for me to enjoy their presence in my daily life.
This undertow cannot be prevented or completely avoided. It comes when it comes. One moment the day seems fine; the next moment a heaviness drags me downward, and my joy with it.
I’ve tried to use my analytical mind to discern the source of the undertow or calculate a solution. If I were at the beach and there was a known undertow I would just stay out of the water. But life is not a beach and all too often the undertow is unpredictable.
What I suspect from pondering my own experiences with undertow and the silent pull of deep waters, is that there is an undercurrent of sadness and loss flowing in the depths of my heart. The same is likely true for you. The holidays bring reminders of loved ones who are no longer walking this life with us. I remember the last Christmas I saw my maternal grandmother; she had just come home from the hospital and was in a wheelchair. When I embraced her and said “good-bye” I somehow knew I wouldn’t see her again this side of heaven. She went to her eternal home a few weeks later. Christmas also reminds me of visiting my mom in the hospital, her last Christmas with us.
What undertow pulls you into the deep waters, bringing a heavy tug of sadness? Is there something to fix or avoid, or is undertow just a part of life? How are we to live in the mystery of emotional undertow?
Message of Mystery Acres
I am so grateful for the forest, where I am floating above the sad undercurrents of my life. Mystery Acres doesn’t have cues reminding me of sad times and heartbreaking losses. I could bring them to mind if I so choose, but the pull of deep waters leaves me alone in the woods. The sights and sounds of Mystery Acres might bring tiny ripples of occasional sadness, but the dangerous pull of deep waters is missing there.
My husband and I purchased our peace-filled bit of forest in March of 2019. Having lost my mother about ten months earlier, this rough bit of forest became a sanctuary for me. Then, in 2020, when the world went crazy, escaping to the woods became a regular weekend routine. In the subsequent years, it has been a place of healing for the struggle and losses in other parts of my world. I miss my children and grandchildren when I am there, but not in a deeply sad way. I remember my grandsons chasing grasshoppers or digging up rocks, and I look forward to future visits with them there.
The message of Mystery Acres invites each of us to find a place of refuge from the undertow of deep, sad waters. I can arrive at the forest, filling the strong and dangerous pull of sorrow, and be immediately lifted to a solid place. Where is your place of refuge from the undertow of your life? My forest calls to me, but it also beckons you to find your sanctuary, a place of safety from the deep waters.
Ancient Mystery’s Voice
“The Lord reached down from on high and grabbed hold of me; He pulled me out of deep water.” (Psalm 18:16)
The Bible uses references to water over 600 times. When used symbolically, the references to water fall into roughly two categories, helpful and harmful. Water is helpful for cleansing, such as the healing of Naaman (see Second Kings chapter 5), and for removal of sinfulness through Baptism (see first Peter chapter 3). Life depends on water to fight dehydration, and Jesus refers to Himself as Living Water, which satisfies spiritual thirst (see John chapter 4).
Harmful images of water usually involve large amounts of water, such as the water that crushed the Egyptians in their pursuit of the Israelites, and the deep waters where someone might sink and drown (such as when Peter attempted to walk on water, see Matthew chapter 14), or from which a beast might emerge (see Daniel chapter 7). Dramatic references to the dangers of the many waters are used symbolically, such as in Revelation 17, to refer to the fallen, sinful world. When the Psalmist wrote about needing to be rescued, it was from the deep and dangerous type of water He was needing to be saved.
The writer of Psalm 18 described his situation as being in deep water, also translated as much or many waters. The author used this reference to water as a symbol of his desperate and hopeless state. The undertow had pulled him under, into a dangerous place. He proclaimed, “The Lord reached down from on high and grabbed hold of me; He pulled me out of deep water.”
I am reminded of Peter, who cried out to help from Jesus, “Lord, save me!” as he sank into the sea (see Matthew 14, verse 30). Jesus reached down and pulled Peter back to safety. This literal event also serves as a symbol of rescue for each of us. Jesus saves those who cry out to Him for rescue from the undertow of their sinful condition. He also reaches down to save those who cry out to Him when the pull of deep waters of sorrow or trouble have overwhelmed them.
The Voice of Ancient Mystery reminds us to cry out for help when the undertow has pulled us under. As Peter cried, “Lord, save me!” and the Psalmist described his rescue, so, too, can each of us know the mighty hand of the Lord is strong and ready to pull us out of whatever deep water is engulfing us. We can cry, “Lord, reach down to rescue me from the undertow. Grab hold of me and pull me out of the deep water.”
Living in Mystery
What does it mean to live in the mystery of undertow and the silent pull into deep waters? First, and possibly most important, is to acknowledge the existence of the undertow. There is much about this life that is deeply sad. People we love die. Children get cancer. Marriages fail. Natural disasters destroy homes and businesses. Each holiday brings reminders of those who are missing. It’s OK to be sad. It’s normal to have sad undercurrents running in the depths of our hearts. The danger is in getting pulled under by sadness and not being able to resurface.
Undertow is real. Each of us have accumulated an undercurrent of losses and sorrows. For some that undercurrent is dangerously strong and can manifest as depression. Anyone caught in the pull of deep water should cry out for help. Talk to the Lord. Call a friend. Talk to your pastor. Check your employer’s benefits for an Employee Assistance Program and possible counseling services. The undertow might be silent but your need for help should not be.
At the beach you can stay out of the water, but in life you cannot. Swimming in the presence of undertow is unavoidable. Using the metaphor of swimming, two suggestions for dealing with undertows come to mind. First, don’t swim alone. Always swim with a buddy; always have people in your life to help. Second, when you feel the pull of the undercurrent, get in motion. A swimmer in motion can more readily escape an undertow. Similarly, the downward tug of sadness can be lessened by physical activity. Take a walk, even if you only feel like sitting.
Another way to cope with emotional undertow is to spend time with a small child. They have no accumulation of loss and sadness, just momentary disappointments that fade when their circumstances change. Devastated one moment by a busted balloon, the next moment can be full of laughter when offered a new balloon. Entering the world of a child, we can escape the tug of our own sad undercurrents.
As an old mom to young parents, I advise you to monitor your own needs for rest, food, and fun. Being tired, hungry, and stressed adds to the risk of undertow for parents. Be sure your own life jacket is strapped and fitted properly so you can be of help to your children.
Living in the mystery of undertow and its silent pull into deep waters requires recognizing that life is unavoidably difficult at times. Sadness is bound to find you, as it finds each of us. When the downward tug of sorrow’s undercurrents threatens to drag you under, cry out for help. Crying out to the Lord, phoning a friend, or seeking professional help provide a strong arm to reach down and lift you to safer swimming. Instead of allowing the undertow to pull you under, get in motion. Find relief from your own stream of sorrowful undercurrents by enjoying time with a child. And remember to take care of your own life jacket before trying to assist others. Life is hard. Sorrows come. Sad undercurrents accumulate in the depths of our hearts but need not drag us to dangerous depths. Don’t live life alone: Always swim with a buddy.
Connecting with Mystery
Dear Lord of All Mystery, I admit that a sad undercurrent sometimes pulls me downward into deep water. Help me remember to live in community with others rather than trying to swim through this dangerous life alone. Bring the joy of children into my world so I can be renewed by the simplicity of life without the sorrows of undertow. Thank You for offering Your strong arm to pull me up from the deep waters. Remind me to call out to You for help when I feel myself sinking. Amen.
Notes from Dr. Mac
If you want to do your own investigation of any of the scriptures I use, I suggest you go to Bible Gateway. This free online version of the Bible allows a search of words or phrases in various translations. I encourage you to read some of the many references to water included in this post.
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