United We Stand
Divided We Fall
Many a child has played with blocks, trying to stack them to make a tall tower. If one block slips off another, the entire creation crashes to the floor, even the part below the point of original separation. United, the blocks stand tall, divided, they all fall. This applies to marriages, churches, and nations. United we stand; divided we fall.
My Mysterious Mind
As we approach the July 4th holiday, I’ve been thinking about the United States of America, especially our first name, “United.” Many of us will celebrate Independence Day with fireworks; either in our driveways or at a public display. As the wife of a pyrotechnician, I have been to countless fireworks shows and several international fireworks conventions. The crowd reactions to fireworks are the same, namely, “oooo” or “aaaah,” interspersed with an intermittent “wow!” or “whoa!” One reaction never heard is “boo” because people don’t take sides when enjoying fireworks together.
Together. Crowds who attend fireworks shows are united by a common experience. Unlike sporting events, where some cheer and others groan, fireworks elicit only unified, positive reactions. There is no taking of sides at a fireworks show, no winners and no losers.
Which brings me to the other event on my mind these days, specifically, the upcoming presidential election. Voters are not choosing a candidate; they are choosing a side. Invisible battle lines between groups of voters are drawn, with some of us fearing we need a metaphorical demilitarized zone between warring factions.
Marriages, too, deteriorate when each partner is more interested in winning than in being united. Some couples fight as though they are on opposing sides, not on the same team. Each critique hurled at the other should really be directed at self for choosing to be married to their now-targeted companion. Two who became one are at risk of reverting to two.
United we stand; divided we fall. At a football game, the opposing fans become one while watching the half-time show. The same people can be on different sides of a battle one minute, then all on the same side when the marching band performs. In marriage, the same people who pledged their lives and loyalty to the other, can allow that unity to decline until they are not even friends. As for the United States of America, the courageous ancestors who left homes and families to forge a new nation wouldn’t recognize their descendants hurling insults on social media.
Unity doesn’t mean a lack of diversity of belief, language, or culture. People can disagree without being disagreeable. People can see things differently without becoming enemies. Sadly, the propaganda machines of social media are actively sowing seeds of division. If you haven’t watched Social Dilemma, which is about Facebook, I highly recommend it to you. Or you can read a bit of Jaron Lanier’s thoughts on social media, summarized here. There are compelling explanations for the divisive role of social media in the severity of side-taking in our “united” states of America.
As we celebrate Independence Day in the coming week, I will be thinking about being united. I will be pondering the common strands that bind us together, not the perspectives that threaten to drive us apart, as my family members with their opposing political positions gather. We will eat together and harmoniously delight in a sky filled with fireworks.
Message from Mystery Acres
There are myriad plants growing at Mystery Acres, all of them native to the land. I have added a few plants into the mix, but only those purchased from a wildflower nursery dedicated to native Missouri varieties. The irises blooming at my home are wonderful, but I am not transplanting any of them to my bit of native forest. If there are going to be irises at Mystery Acres they will be ones naturally growing elsewhere in unaltered regions of the state.
Plants that don’t belong in my forest might become invasive. These predatory, boundary-less plants spread without opposition, jeopardizing the survival of native ones. Native species work in harmony with each other, invasive species can spread and strangle native plants.
One example of an invasive species is the Callery Pear, also known as the Bradford Pear. These ornamental trees spread quickly, crowding out native trees. In the spring, their lovely white flowers display their popularity…and their successful propagation in open fields and along roadways. Missouri is trying to slow down the invasion through a Buyback program, a way for people to trade an invasive Callery Pear tree for a native variety. Tragically, these and other invasive species are still being sold to unaware buyers, with legislative efforts to stop those sales.
Invasive species are like people who take sides, more interested in winning than in harmonious co-existence. Because these plants are such great “winners,” the outcome is the loss of native species. The message of Mystery Acres is to beware of plants, and people, who only want to win. When one plant, or side, is too focused on winning, everyone is losing.
Ancient Mystery’s Voice
Jesus said, “Every city or house divided against itself will not stand.” (See Matthew 12, verse 25)
When accused of being aligned with Satan when driving out demons, Jesus pointed out the nonsense of such an accusation. A city or house or kingdom can’t survive if its parts are working against each other. Driving out demons demonstrated the authority Jesus had over the enemy, not his alliance with him. An ally of Satan wouldn’t be working against him, that just doesn’t make sense.
And yet, such division is too often seen in marriages, churches, and nations. Spouses take sides against each other; churches split from conflict and the battle lines are drawn between allied flanks; nations, once united, descend into civil war. In some cases, the differences are irreconcilable with no middle ground to be found. Sometimes division between sides is warranted, with the dissolution of what was once united as the appropriate outcome. Sometimes, but not always.
Internal division brings weakening. A cracked bowl is at risk of breaking along the fractured line. Marriage with unresolved conflict might create a “broken home.” Church members who neglect to forgive each other’s injuries, choosing to develop allies for their side of a conflict, threaten to split a congregation. Nations who allow differences in political philosophy to degenerate into hatred of those across the political aisle, jeopardize the “united” in their country.
The apostle Paul wrote a letter of advice to his friend and co-worker Titus. In that letter, Paul cautioned Titus about people who are prone to division (see Titus 3, verse 10). Paul advised Titus to “warn a divisive person once, and then warn them a second time. After that, have nothing to do with them.” The context of this warning was about those who tried to start arguments based on heresy, spreading doubt and errant doctrine among believers. Such divisiveness would drive believers into competing camps, destroying unity.
Paul, like Jesus, made unity a high priority. Jesus prayed for His followers to “be one” as He and His father “are one” (see John 16, verse 11). This doesn’t mean people have to agree on everything; but how those disagreements are handled will either strengthen or weaken relationships. Jesus was in unity, or one-ness, with His Father, but, nonetheless questioned His father’s plan to send Him to be crucified (see Luke 22, verse 42). Unity doesn’t mean a passive “rubber stamping” of one’s spouse, or pastor, or elected official. Rather, seeking unity approaches differences with love, honesty, and respect, seeking a stronger outcome for all, not a weaker, divided one.
The words of Ancient Mystery caution us of the dangers of division. Disagreement is healthy; taking sides in a conflict brings brokenness where unity once was.
Living in Mystery
Living in the mystery of unity means, first of all, understanding the subtle, destructive power of division. Winning, by putting one above another, creates a loser. When you win, you might actually be losing, because of the division caused by fighting to be right. Conversely, sometimes when we lose, such as choosing not to win an argument, we actually win. Thus, “winning at all costs” might be losing for you and for everyone else. This is unfortunately true in fights between spouses or members of the same church.
Dale Carnegie, in his book How to Win Friends and Influence People, said, “A man convinced against his will is of the same opinion still.” He advised not to argue. There is no winning when winning an argument. Everyone loses because relationships, and unity, are damaged. A practical piece of advice is to limit divisive interactions on social media. Block or unfriend divisive people. Or, as Jaron Lanier admonished, get off social media completely. His warnings, those of a Silicon Valley insider, were published before the pervasive propaganda machine, TikTok.
As an old mom to young parents, I suggest you think about how natural division emerges in children, and how unity must be learned. The proclivity to push for a separate and elevated position above another can be seen in the toddler who proclaims “mine” and the teen who rejects a parent’s wisdom. The innate drive to be better and/or separate is at the foundation of what fuels divisive behavior. Unity requires surrender of self-glory, seeking collective well-being instead.
Sibling bickering is common in children. My solution was to put the warring children together on a love seat, requiring them to hold hands. They were only allowed to get up when they had agreed to stop fighting. In doing this, I made myself their common enemy, forcing an alliance between them. They learned to get along because I required it, not because it came naturally.
And, as for our conflicted nation, I suggest you intentionally listen to media produced by those with whom you disagree. One of the ways I pass the time when driving alone on long car trips, is to listen to a variety of talk radio, purposefully listening to rhetoric from the “left” and the “right.” In doing so it becomes clear how slanted each side presents any story. Both accuse the other of distorting the facts and gas-lighting their listeners. After several hours I realize the truth is probably somewhere in-between. And there is the root of the real problem; there is a somewhere BETWEEN the sides, a place of common ground neither is standing. Divisive commentary draws followers, and it creates distance between the sides. Where is the ‘united’ in our country?
Lastly, ponder the unifying power of watching fireworks together. This Independence Day, as you gather with others to celebrate, pray for those “on the other side,” the people who are going to vote differently than you. Beware divisive people, media, and rhetoric. Remember to stand on the side of unity, choosing to disagree without being disagreeable. Our marriages, churches, and nation depend on each of us to be united as we stand, because divided we all fall.
Connecting With Mystery
Dear Lord of All Mystery, I am troubled by the lines of division in marriages, churches, and our country. So many of us have become disagreeable in our disagreements, threatening the well-being of our shared connections. Help me to see whatever role I play in these dangers, equipping me with the love, patience, and respect needed to hold an opinion without creating enemies. Help us, Lord, help us. United with You, we stand; divided from You, we fall. Amen.
Notes from Dr. Mac
If you want to do your own investigation of any of the scriptures I use, I suggest you go to Bible Gateway. This free online version of the Bible allows a search of words or phrases in various translations. You might enjoy reading the larger context of Matthew 12, Titus 3, John 16, or Luke 22.
You can find previous posts and podcasts in my ARCHIVE and organized compilations in the My “Books” section. You can also find Mystery’s Voice on Spotify .
Do you have thoughts to share? Please leave a comment below or through the Substack App, or email me privately at Dear Dr. Mac. I love to hear from you!
