Waiting can be frustrating and difficult, especially when what is anticipated has no visible sign of arriving. This kind of waiting is like standing on an empty railway platform hoping your train will come.
My Mysterious Mind
My husband and I have two of our three children living 70 miles apart on the East Coast. The Amtrak connection is a nearly perfect way to get from one to the other; the Aberdeen boarding platform is 1.5 miles from our daughter’s home and Union Station, DC, is less than that from our son’s home. The Northeast Regional travels multiple times each day on a route that connects DC with New York. Along that path is a tiny train station at Aberdeen. When the train stops at the platform there is only one door that opens for boarding or un-boarding. At Aberdeen, two tracks are southbound and two are northbound. Some trains zip right past the little Aberdeen platforms.
I took this route in February to get back to Aberdeen from DC. I was excited to introduce my husband to the ease of train travel during our recent trip for our son’s graduation from Georgetown University. We flew to Baltimore and were picked up by our son-in-law, then, later were dropped off at the Aberdeen station to catch the train to DC. I was eager to show my husband the wonders of train travel on the East Coast, as well as happy about having found a discount fare of only five bucks per person.
A text message informed us to be at Track 4 for our train. We arrived early and stood alone on the platform by Track 4, with instructions clearly marked on the building that this was the southbound side for trains headed to DC. There were passengers on the opposite side of the tracks waiting for a train headed north towards New York. We watched as their train arrived and a few minutes later departed.
On our side of the tracks there was an automated sign with information about our train. By this we “knew” we were in the right spot. At the anticipated arrival time the sign changed to “boarding,” but there was no train at the platform. An audible message announced the train’s arrival and the need for passengers to board. A few minutes later the message changed to “last call,” and an announcement blasted audible information to alert the passengers. Still there was no train. Then our hearts sank as the message changed to “Departed.” Where was our train? We couldn’t possibly have missed it.
The boarding station is not staffed; there was no one to ask about our train. I called the Amtrak number but got a not-useful automated message system. Then I called our son to alert him to our situation. He suggested we wait a few more minutes, our train might come.
Then, approaching from the correct direction but traveling on the wrong tracks, was a train. A conductor leaned out the window towards the southbound platform and shouted at the two of us as the train slowly approached the northbound platform. He directed us to go to the other side of the platform. We looked around and there was a random person standing next to us; he directed us towards the stairs to take us under the tracks to the other side.
We were greeted by the train staff at the single doorway open for us to board the train, having to cross a set of tracks to get to the train stairs. When I questioned what was happening I was told these were “abnormal circumstances.” I said “thank you for waiting for us,” and was told “we knew since Christmas you would be here.” Weird, especially since I’d only booked the tickets a couple of weeks earlier.
In my professional life I’ve been “on the platform” for a long time. I needed to leave from where I was and I “knew” I was going to leave. But no train came for me. I watched and waited. Two years passed, all while being certain I was supposed to go. Finally, the train’s arrival was announced, right before Christmas. Months later, at the end of the last semester of the last year, I am boarding the train to the next role. I packed my professional things months ago. I’ve been standing on the empty platform waiting. I didn’t know when I was leaving but I knew my train was coming, many months out of sight. I waited without seeing.
My train has come. Sometimes life seems like a train full of random, unconcerned passengers, each with their own stories that don’t involve us. But the train conductor is in charge. Life isn’t an impersonal train, like an airport train running on automatic. The train of life is personalized; the Conductor cares, watches, and waits for us.
Message from Mystery Acres
Life in the forest is nearly free of waiting. Rather than impatiently anticipating the setting of the sun or the arrival of dawn, I just relax. Time becomes almost irrelevant. My body alerts me when it’s time to eat or time to rest; no clock or schedule is needed. When the sun gets low behind the trees I know it’s time to prepare for darkness, gathering a jacket for the likely drop in temperature and making sure there’s a flashlight handy in the lawn chair.
During some visits there aren’t any vehicles that drive past our section of the woods on the private gravel road that borders our property. When a car or truck or ATV does pass by it isn’t on any time-table we have been watching. It’s just a delightful surprise because it might be one of our few neighbors. We don’t watch the road to see if someone might come, we just enjoy their passing by if and when it happens. Sometimes these unanticipated visitors will see us and stop to visit. We don’t have to check our calendars to see if we have time to chat; we just talk.
Life without an awareness of waiting is so free. It’s a moment-by-moment experience more as life was intended to be. The forest didn’t make clocks and calendars, humans did. There are no trains that we need to run on time; no waiting on empty platforms for their arrival. Life in the forest is just life.
The message of Mystery Acres is to be less distracted by calendars and schedules and more oriented to the invisible clock of each day and each season. In the forest, as in life, things happen when they are supposed to happen. There is freedom in relaxing in that pattern and not anxiously waiting for what comes next.
Ancient Mystery’s Voice
“Do not leave… but wait…” (See Acts 1: 4)
Near the end of Jesus’s time as a human living among His disciples He gave them directions for what to do next. These directions are recorded in the book of Acts of the Apostles in the first chapter. Jesus instructed His disciples to not leave Jerusalem but to wait there until they received the gift of the Holy Spirit. That gift would arrive in a “few days” or, more literally “not many days.”
The Lord’s timing is a mystery to us humans, including these first disciples who waited in Jerusalem as directed. How many days would I wait if I was told a gift would arrive in a few days? 5? 10? More than 10? How many days would you wait? What amount of days would align with a description of “not many days?”
It was 40 days after Jesus left by ascending into the clouds that the promised gift arrived. How impatient were the disciples during this waiting period? Were they tempted to give up waiting or to leave Jerusalem? How impatient would you or I have been?
A friend once told me that the real challenge in living obediently to the Lord is to be where we are supposed to be. Unless we are where we are supposed to be we have no chance of doing what we are supposed to do. In the case of waiting for the Holy Spirit the disciples had to wait where they were told to wait. Just wait.
I’m reminded of those info-mercials where the sales person says, “but wait – there’s more!” Tempted to turn the channel away from the enticement of the promotion, the viewer is encouraged to wait because more exciting features or offers are about to be presented. The longer we watch, the more likely we will buy.
That comparison is very different than the waiting we do when directed by the Lord. The time of waiting may not include additional enticements to “sit tight” until the promised gift arrives or the instructions for the next steps become clear. More likely the time of waiting will be difficult with frequent temptations to move from the waiting place.
My husband and I were tempted to stop waiting for that train but we had no other instructions to follow or anyone who would tell us what was happening. We double and triple-checked our ticket and the text message. This was the place we were instructed to be at the time we were supposed to be there. And the train did show up with additional instructions to cross to the other side of the tracks.
In life one of the hardest things to do is to wait for further instructions or to wait for the arrival of an anticipated promise. It’s hard to wait because to do so requires trust in someone or something we cannot control. There’s a helpless quality to waiting. Wanting to “take matters into our own hands” we are inclined to do something, anything, to fill the time of waiting. In those times the words of Jesus to His disciples are not to leave but to wait. They knew there were in the place they were supposed to be; they didn’t know how long they would be waiting.
Living in Mystery
What does it mean to live in the mystery of waiting for your train to come? First, it means searching out to be certain you are waiting in the correct location. Unlike an actual train, the required waiting platforms on the train of life do not involve text notifications or automated signage. Knowing if you are in the right place comes from having daily quiet time in which discernment is possible. In these hushed moments, listen to yourself and the Conductor for guidance. Are you to wait where you are or are you supposed to move in some way?
I had known for several years that I was to leave my current professional role but I had no specific instructions beyond that. I was just supposed to wait and watch. Last summer I received a text message that, after prayerful consideration, I responded with a suggestion to have lunch. It was at that lunch when the clarity of the next professional role began to be visible. It would then be many more months before that clarity became reality. In the meantime, there has been a lot of waiting, and not all of it patiently.
After you are certain you are waiting in the right place, the next thing to do is to “not leave” until directed to do so. Avoid the temptation to fix the situation yourself or get off the platform in search of another train. Just “waiting” is more than that; it requires staying put until further instructions arrive. This reminds me of a parent’s directions to a child to “wait here.” It also brings to mind parental instructions to a child to “stay put” if separated in a crowd because the parent will find the waiting, immobile child more readily than one who keeps wandering aimlessly about.
Lastly, waiting for the mystery of knowing your train is coming requires trust. This doesn’t have to be a completely confident trust, just enough to wait a little longer, and then a little longer still. Trust means holding onto the last instructions received and waiting until the next instructions arrive.
As an old mom to young parents, do your children know how to wait? In our instant gratification, constant entertainment culture, have you taught your children the mystery of just waiting quietly for something? Can they tune into themselves and the Conductor for guidance? In a lifestyle of almost constant activity, can your children sit calmly and wait for a train? Can they live in a quiet moment at peace with themselves until an anticipated something arrives? Do they see this kind of waiting demonstrated by you?
Living in the mystery of waiting confidently for a train you know is coming is harder than it needs to be. But it is hard. Quietly search for the certainty that you are where you are supposed to be, then wait there without leaving until the promised “train” arrives. The trains of life don’t run on obvious schedules. Wait. Your train will come.
Connecting With Mystery
Dear Lord of All Mystery, thank You for being the Conductor of my life, someone who cares, watches, and waits for me. Help me to seek Your direction for where I am to be and strengthen me to wait for Your promises to arrive when I can’t see anything happening. Help me to trust that the train of my life is always running on time, even when it doesn’t seem like it to me. Amen.
Notes from Dr. Mac
If you want to do your own investigation of any of the scriptures I use, I suggest you go to Bible Gateway. This free online version of the Bible allows a search of words or phrases in various translations.
You can find previous posts and podcasts in my ARCHIVE and organized compilations in the My “Books” section. You can also find Mystery’s Voice on Spotify
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