Why Now?
Because It's Time
Introduction
I have been thinking about time and timing. Something important I thought was going to happen two years ago now looks like it might happen soon. This left me wondering “why now?” Thank you for joining me in this issue of The Adventure of Reflection as I ponder how things happen when it’s time.
A Minute of Motivation
Time for Tact
Tact is the ability to close your mouth before someone else wants to.
I haven’t always known when to stop talking – sometimes I still don’t. When my husband and I sought marriage counseling many years ago, the counselor gave my husband permission to tell me to “shut up.” Now that may not seem like a very loving thing to do, but it was. I am more aware now of when to talk and when to be silent. Many unnecessary arguments and hurt feelings can be avoided by learning the beautiful art of tact.
There is a time to speak and a time to be silent. Take a moment before speaking to know what time it is. Be sensitive to what the other person is needing, as well as what you’re needing, and you’ll know when to do what.
Know when it’s time to talk and when it’s time to be silent.
Note. Originally published in 1992. This section of the newsletter will change soon as I am almost out of these previously-written pieces.
Enjoy Life More
When It’s Time
Everything in life is on a timer, however, most of the timers are invisible to us. Only during certain athletic events can we successfully “watch the clock” or, if coaching, “manage the clock.” A finite amount of time is on the “game clock” and there are known rules for how, and when, it stops, starts, and expires.
Entropy, working behind the scenes in all things, is the gradual decline that leads to disorder. Simply said, everything wears out or breaks down eventually. This computer on which I am typing will, at some point, stop working. My heart, which is beating steadily in the background, will, in time, stop beating. The food in the refrigerator will, sometime after its “best use date” become inedible. Ticking, ticking, ticking.
Growth, working behind the scenes in many things, is also happening. We can “see” this by using ultrasound to peek inside the womb during pregnancy. Most of the time, however, the growth of good things is not visible. Suddenly, or so it seems, something great appears in our lives and we exclaim, “Wow! I didn’t see THAT coming!”
Whether it’s the arrival of something unwanted, like a disease or a mechanical breakdown, or the arrival of something wonderful, like a job offer or an unanticipated gift, we react with “Why now?” Such surprises catch us off-guard and we search to understand the timing.
The answer to the plea of “Why now?” is beyond our comprehension. The timers at work behind the scenes are invisible. Things happen because it’s time for them to happen. To insist on knowing why they are happening when they happen will just bring frustration.
To enjoy life more, accept that things happen when it’s time for them to happen. Our minds are too limited to know all the behind-the-scenes processes at work, including the timers on everything. Experiences, pleasant and unpleasant, happen when it’s time for them to happen. Acceptance of this invisible timing enables us to more fully enjoy today.
Faith Corner
“Jesus died for sinners at the right time.” (See Romans 5: 6)
A popular expression states: Timing is everything. The right thing, done at the wrong time, becomes the wrong thing. From “popping the question” to merging into traffic, timing matters.
In Paul’s letter to the Romans he wrote about the timing of the death of Jesus. Many scholars have analyzed and sought to describe the timing of this death. All of human history shifted at that time, from B.C to A.D. Years are counted backward and forward from the hinge of Jesus’ death. Why then? Why not sooner? Why not later?
Paul dodges those questions and just describes the timing as the “right time.” Other translations use “due time” and “perfect time.” God, as the creator of time, chose the time for Jesus to die for the sins of all mankind. God made time and He controls timing.
I admit to struggling with this notion of timing, not regarding the death of Jesus, but with personal matters in my own life. “Why now?” is a question I have often pondered. When waiting for something I ask, “Why not yet?”
A popular song playing these days on Christian radio describes God’s timing as “Never early, never late.” This “11th hour” timing of God answering prayers demonstrates He knows the time left on the timer, arriving with a solution “just under the wire.”
Sometimes it’s hard to trust God’s timing. I often try to run ahead of Him, which leaves me waiting for Him to “catch up.” I see how things are going to play out, why is it taking so long to happen? Simple answer: it isn’t time.
Dear Lord, thank You for creating and managing time. I confess I want to control time and timing, which is Your job, not mine. You know everything that has happened, is happening, and will happen. Help me to relax and follow Your lead and Your timing. Amen.
Poetry Pause
Behind the Curtain
Watching the stage -
Scenes appear
And disappear;
People enter
And exit;
All controlled by
What is happening
Behind the Curtain.
I can worry about the unseen
Or enjoy the show.
By Cindy MacGregor, July 13, 2023
Note. So much of life is like watching a stage performance; I don’t know who or what is going to come in or out of my life during each day. I can’t control or predict what’s behind the curtain.
Old Mom to Young Mom
It’s Time
Parents govern time for their children. From “it’s time to brush your teeth” to “it’s time to get in the car,” time management is a central theme in effective parenting. A small child doesn’t have to watch the clock, just comply with parental directions.
As children grow they need to learn how to watch the clock and manage themselves. Digital clocks require complex understanding of addition and subtraction, something beyond the capabilities of small children. To help her boys understand time, my oldest daughter bought large, old-fashioned clocks, with clear numbers. She announces where the hands of the clock will be when “it’s time” for something. In this way her boys can see time passing and regulate their preparation accordingly.
I helped with a new student orientation event this week, one in which I asked incoming college students what was likely to cause them problems as they traveled towards a college degree. The most common answer was poor “time management.” They anticipated a struggle with not spending enough time studying or too much time socializing.
As an old mom to young parents, I encourage you to teach your children to manage themselves when it comes to time. Can they keep track of the passage of time? Can they keep a calendar and know when assignments are due? Can they rely on themselves, and not you, to manage their preparation for specific events? Time management, which is actually self-management, is essential to successfully launch into the adult world. You may know when “it’s time” for certain things to happen, but your children need ultimately to know that for themselves.
Dear Dr. Mac
Hi Cindy!
I wanted to let you know that today was the first time I listened to your blog. I usually read it, but today I listened to it as I drove to the store. I loved it! I had forgotten how much I missed your voice. It took me right back to our classes. What a wonderful time of learning! I remember your laugh and smile the most. Please keep writing and reading. You are making a difference.
[signed] Dana
Dear Dana,
What a joy it is to hear from you! Thanks for letting me know you enjoy the audio recordings. I think I sound like my mom or my sister, which is weird for me. Your encouragement to keep writing and reading means a great deal to me! Thanks!
[signed] Cindy
Hi Dr. Mac,
I want to take a moment to send a message to you. I think of you often and have been saving your weekly posts to listen to in moments of needed boosts. The new job has been challenging, sometimes making me feel adrift in a rocky sea, but I keep treading water making small, micro forward gains.
[signed] Jody, From Outside the Prickly Nest
Hi Jody,
I love hearing from you! I wrote the Prickly Nest while thinking of you and my own situation. Glad you made the connection! And it warms my heart to know you are listening to my voice during your disorienting season. You mentioned feeling “adrift” which was actually a theme I had been pondering for an upcoming newsletter.
[signed] Dr. Mac
Dear Readers:
You can find all my previous posts at ARCHIVE
You have two ways to share your thoughts with me. You can leave a comment (see box below) or you can email me at: drcjmacgregor@outlook.com; I will respond to your email, and post our dialogue in a future newsletter (with your permission, of course). I love to hear from you!